But This Just Wasn't Any Kiss (I Hope You're Still Not Over This)

Version 1: Soft and Sweet (Like Cotton Candy)

A/N: I literally wrote this at 1 am lol enjoy

"Renaldo, I need you to teach me how to kiss."

Naldo put down the beaker he was looking at and changed his gaze to Barry with wide eyes. They had been experimenting in the Winnebago trying to figure out some adhesive thing. Naldo didn't really know. He just stood about and followed instructions. This sudden request from Barry had come out of absolutely and took Naldo aback.

"What?" he asked, bemused.

"Marci and I have been dating for awhile, and we have yet to have experienced our first kiss. Studies show that couples typically have their first kiss after two dates, and our third date is coming soon. What if she wants to kiss me? I'm not ready for that! What if she tries to kiss me and an alien invasion occurs? Or the robot apocalypse finally happens? Or--"

Naldo placed his hands on Barry's shoulders. "Barry, calm down. Sure, I'll show you how to kiss. It's simple really." He brought him over to the table by the window and sat down. "It's all in technique. You gotta watch for signals. But be careful, cause girls can be really confusing sometimes." Barry got a notebook and began writing down Naldo's tips. "So, when you see her giving you signs--for example, eye contact or if she looks at your lips, or especially if you see her leaning in, you don't wanna be that idiot that just stands there when she's already halfway there--that's how you know it's okay. Then you lean in slowly, close your eyes, and kiss her. Now, some extra tips just to make it even better."

Barry put his hands up and waved them to show Naldo to stop talking. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down! I don't understand any of this!"

Naldo shrugged. "Don't worry, Barry, you'll get it soon enough."

****************

He did not get it soon enough. In half an hour, they had brought in a blackboard with "Guy's Guide to Kissing Your Girl" written across the top, featuring multiple illustrations about the perfect head angle to avoid nose clashing, what do with your hands, the appropriate length of time for the kiss to last so it's not awkward and you can breathe, the principles of timing for breathing, proper preparations--mint, chap stick, et cetera--and the perfect location and time to do it. And all Barry had in his notebook was a giant question mark. There were dolls--action figures, dolls are for girls and weirdos--strewn about the floor from multiple demonstrations. When Barry had tried to participate, the dolls somehow wound up with their heads switched around.

"And always remember, never go too far north of the Equator," Naldo finished. "Any questions?" Barry just stared at him in confusion. Naldo sighed. "You still don't get it?" He stood next to the table that Barry was still sitting in.

"Yes! This is all Greek to me," Barry exclaimed as he stood up and threw his hands up exasperatedly. "Actually, I know Greek, so this is more like Klingon."

"Barry--"

"No, Renaldo, let's just face it. I'm never gonna be good at kissing--"

"Barry--"

"--and Marci's gonna dump me--"

"Barry--"

"--and I'll be alone forever, cause you'll find someone--"

Barry was cut off by Naldo lightly tilting his chin so their eyes were locked together. Barry stared deep into Naldo's eyes. He had never realised how pretty they were. They were kind of a blend of blue, green, hazel, and grey.

"Wow," he whispered. "Your eyes are so...colourful." He started to feel insecure about his eyes just a plain old blue, making him look down.

"Hey," Naldo smirked. Barry looked back up at him. "Don't feel sad. I can tell when you're feeling insecure. Your eyes are beautiful. The way the shine in the light. The way they brighten up when you get all nerdy and excited about science stuff. The way they squint in confusion whenever I say something stupid or when you smile, with that stupid dimple of yours. They make my eyes look like nothing." He smiled brightly, and Barry returned it.

"Thank you, Renaldo." They stared into each other's eyes. Barry began looking down at Naldo's lips. I wonder... He slowly leaned in, closing his eyes. Naldo placed a hand on Barry's hip, leaning in and meeting him halfway. Barry took a moment to appreciate how soft Naldo's lips were. He also thought they had looked soft, when he had found himself staring at them as they experimented in the lab before scolding himself for having those thoughts about his best friend. He brought his hands up and placed them on Naldo's biceps. Naldo placed his other hand on Barry's other hip. They stood there kissing for a bit, minutes or hours, they had lost track of time, lost in each other. They pulled apart slowly, opened their eyes and smiled at each other, panting slightly from their racing hearts.

"Like that?" Barry asked, breathless.

"Huh?" Naldo was still recuperating a little.

"Is that how you kiss someone?"

"Oh." Naldo had kinda forgotten about the whole point of them being there. He cleared his throat. "Um, yeah, I guess you were...alright. I still think you need some more practice." He smirked.

"As long as you're willing to be my practice dummy."

"Barry, let's be honest, I've always been your dummy." Barry laughed softly before leaning in and wrapping his arms around Naldo's neck.

"My dummy. My beautiful, beautiful dummy." He smiled and sealed it with a kiss.

FIN.