Show Me (A Harry Styles Fanfiction)

Chapter Thirty Two - Not Falling Apart

Now I can't walk, now I can't talk anymore,

Since you walked out the door,

And now I'm stuck living in that night again,

I'm not falling apart. 

- "Not Falling Apart", Maroon 5

....

Colors. 

Colors. 

All I could see or make out were colors. Suddenly they were extremely visible in the darkness. 

The red and white of the flashing lights on top of the ambulance - the black and yellow of the gurney they were strapping Harry on - the blanket placed over my shoulders was blue - 

Colors. 

The green-blue of Louis' tear-filled eyes - the navy of the police uniforms - they stood a few feet away, as Niall explained to them what happened -

The hole inside of me was crippling. It felt like my lungs were tossed on the pavement where Zayn let the two shots fire on Harry.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. I didn't flinch. 

"Ali," a voice murmured. Niall. "We have to follow the...the ambulance. To the hospital. I'll drive Tomlinson's car." 

"Where's Louis." My voice sounded strange and far away. All of the noises did. 

"He's...he's not in a state to drive." 

I could only nod. I'd never felt so numb in my life. I'd never felt so cold in my life. I wrapped the blanket tighter around my bare shoulders and finally rose to my feet. I had been crouching for a long time. But my legs didn't hurt. I didn't feel anything. 

Niall pulled Louis' car around, then hopped out to tell the ambulance we were ready. I saw Louis in the backseat. He was a wreck. Sobbing hysterically, his hands clenching his face. He didn't look up as I entered. 

"Louis," I murmured, tears falling from my eyes. "Lou."

He only shook his head. 

"Louis - "

"Harry," he said, wiping at his face with his blazer. "That's my brother. If I lose my b-brother, I lose a part of...me."

Niall slipped into the drivers' seat, starting up the car. 

The only noise in the car was the engine and Louis' muted sniffs in the back seat. The bright lights of the ambulance were cutting into my raw, dry eyes. 

Harry was in there. 

Harry. 

"Did they tell you anything about his...condition?" My voice still sounded tiny and muffled, as if cotton balls were lodged in my throat. 

Niall's face tightened. "N-no."

Louis let out a strained moan from the back, slumping down with his head on his knees.

"A good thing is, the cops are going after Zayn," Niall said, false cheeriness in his voice.

We didn't respond. 

"They'll find him and Jess," Niall continued, turning a sharp corner after the ambulance. "They'll find them." 

We didn't respond. 

Niall stopped trying, he just slowly pulled into a hospital parking space as the ambulance chugged quickly up to the curb, two men jumping out and around the back.