Heart Shaped Box ♥ [Kurt Cobain Story]

Addiction

It's been a month. A month since my mother fought with Wendy,and a month since i've seen Kurt ,I just want to see him so bad but my mother has been picking up and leaving me to school everyday. Everytime I come home she leaves with her husband and i have to take care of my two baby brothers. I also realized that she's pregnant again so if that keeps up i'll be staying here to the rest of my life as their slave...

I began to think about leaving this place with Kurt and having a normal life when the teacher slammed a huge ruler on my desk making me jump. "Stop daydreaming Mrs. Day." "It's Harrison to you.." I mutter. I don't want to have my mothers surname. The teacher began to teach his class like nothing happened,that's when Tracy spoke up.

"Shhh hey April." 

I glare at the blond headed girl who had a grin on her stupid face. "Heard that your parents won't let you see that boy and you're practically a slave to them." "Hey stop talking to her like that!" I quickly look behind me and saw a girl with dark brown messy hair and a fedora on her head,she was wearing blue shorts and the same t-shirt i was wearing. The Beatles. "Oh look the new kid can talk." Tracy sang. She's so stupid.

The bell rang meaning that this class is over,the next teacher came in and while he was talking i turned back and smiled at the new girl,even though she arrived here last week and we havent spoken to each other.

"Hey. I-i just wanted to thank you for...well you know." She chuckled. She held her hand up for me to shake. "That was nothing,i'm Sam by the way." "I'm April." "April? So your last surname is Day?" I nodded my head. "Is your middle bame Fools?" We both laughed.  "Nah. I love your shirt." We began to talk about ourselves and the things we like to do. Meanwhile listening to the boring teacher I raised my hand up. "Yes. April?"

"Can i go to the restroom?"

He nodded his head,I quickly got up from my seat and fiddled with the item in my hands. I entered the restroom and made sure no one was in here. "I'm safe." I locked the dooe and stood in front of the mirror. I held up at my pocket knife and stared at it for a while "This is for Kurt." I bit my lip and carefully slid the knife onto my wrist,making a straight line of blood. "This is for not  being able to run away and for obeying my stupid parents..." I made three then four and almost six.

I tasted my own tears as they fell down and I stared down at what I did. I've been doing this ever since i havent seen him,I'm sure he wouldve kicked my ass for  seeing at what i've done but i don't care anymore. It's not like i am doing drugs which is a lot worst. "April you in here?" I heard Sam outside. "Yeah. I'll be out in a minute." I quickly cleaned up and pulled down my sleeve.

"What took you so long and why did you lock the door?"

"Nothing I just thought I heard someone chasing after me,just my imagination." I smiled at her. "Okay then. Let's head down to class." She stared at my brown eyes,trying to see if I was lying to her, "Are you really okay?" "Yep. I'm fine." I sniffed and tried my best to not cry in front of her.

<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>

"Okay class today's lesson we'll talk about....Suicide." 

I stopped drawing in my notebook and looked up at the board and saw a lot of types of drugs written on it and grotesque images. "Suicide is a very unfortunate thing to do nowadays.This mostly occurs to depressed teenagers."

" Suicide is the act of intentionally causing one's own death.Risk factors include mental illness such as depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, personality disorders, alcoholism, or drug abuse. Others are impulsive acts due to stress such as from financial difficulties, troubles with relationships, or bullying. Those who have previously attempted suicide are at high risk of future attempts. The most common methods include: hanging, pesticide poisoning, and firearms. The absolute number of suicides however is greatest in those between 15 and 29 years old."

Is Kurt even okay? I don't care what might happen to me now but i can't forget him! What if he's been doing the same as I have? What if he started drinking he know's how his mother dislikes those things, abut he doesn't give a damn. "April why don't you do first?" I stood up and started telling a bit of my story. "The only reason i've been living this whole time is because of my friend. Without him I wouldnt know what to do."

"JUST KILL YOURSELF BITCH!!'

I glared at Tracy who began to laugh with their friends. "You think your so much better but you aren't you fucking idiot!  You think that the world is perfect but it isn't!! I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." She stared at me and opened her mouth but she said nothing, "Alright on with the next." 

"My name is Samantha Armstrong,I have an older brother who lives in California and we both lost our father at a young age." I continue listening to Sam who started basically telling her entirely story to everyone. I started to write something the first thing that came to my mind. 

He woke up from dreaming and put on his shoes

Started making his way past 2 in the morning

He hasn't been sober for days

Leaning now into the breeze

Remembering Sunday, he falls to his knees

They had breakfast together

But two eggs don't last

Like the feeling of what he needs

Now this place seems familiar to him

She pulled on his hand with a devilish grin

She led him upstairs, she led him upstairs

Left him dying to get in.

"Mrs. Harrison!" Two hands landed on my desk making me jump up and glare at my teacher. "What do you want Mr. James. "Class finished five minutes ago and yet you are still here." "Yeah so? I don't have anywhere else to go." 

He stood up and started writing something, "You've been acting strange lately April. A bit aggressive and angry at everyone around you. You're own grades have been lowering and it's bad but lucky for you I have a friend who can help." He ripped the paper and handed it to me. "What the hell is this?" He sighed and rubbed his nose. "Her name is Maddison and she's a friend of mine,she treated my niece a few weeks ago and I think she may also help you. You are my favorite student April,you're like a niece to me so I want you to get better." 

I stared at the piece of paper in my hands "If you want to get better just go to that street and ask for Maddison. She'll most likely be waiting for you."