Light Behind His Eyes

Cheating Leads To Divorce

"Ang, what are you doing out here?! It's freezing!" My mother's voice rippled in and out of my fevered dreams of the night before. Peter and Nick, the fight, the sound of Peter's head hitting the pavement.
It took a few tries, but after a few minutes Mom finally woke me from my nightmares and got me inside.
"Honey, what happened? Where'd you go? How'd you end up outside? Why didn't you come home?" One question after another thrown in my direction but I wasn't listening to any of them. Only one question mattered to me. Was Peter okay?
After convincing her I was alright I was able to slip away and take a shower. It was the minute I got out that I picked up my phone. Two texts, one voicemail. Each from someone different.
One text was from Nick, the other from Peter and the voicemail was my fathers. It was then that I remembered me and my mom were supposed to talk and never did. Maybe he would answer some questions.
"Hey Girly. It's me, dad. Look...um... I don't know if you and your mom talked yet, but just know, that whatever happens I love you and I'm always here for you. Call me so we can talk. Love you."
That couldn't mean anything good. I wondered what was happening. I knew he left already, was it about that? Was something going on between him and mom?
The text from Nick was simple, "sorry things got out of hand last night. I just think you can do better than him. If you ever need someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on, I'm here for you."
Peters was even simpler, "feeling better, visit when you get a chance 😝"
I didnt know what to do first. I wanted to call my dad back, but not before I talked to Mom. And peter was waiting for me in a hospital room. Though I could really use someone to talk to. Sometimes I wish there were seven of me.
Mom first. I knocked lightly on her bedroom door as the sound of drumming knuckles hit old wood. "Come in"
"Hey mom. You promised when we got home we would talk and I just got a strange message from Dad."
She patted the bed next to her lightly and as I sat down she started braiding my hair like she did when I was little.
"Yesterday, I got a call from your Dad." She sniffs as if to stop her from crying and rubs at her eye with the back of her hand. "He wants to end our marriage. He thinks we need to take separate paths. He has a girlfriend out at his other house and has for the last two months."
" Oh my God, mom" I hugged her with all my strength. I felt her shake as she completely lost her composure. How could he do that. How could he come back here into this house, knowing he was with another woman. "That... That asshole."
"Language Angela. It's not his fault..."
"Yes it is! How could he!?"
" I don't know... I just don't know..."
She held me back just as tightly. Her tears began to soak through my shirt. I hated my dad at that moment. I hated him for doing this to her, to us.
I sat with her for almost an hour just talking and calming her down. She told me he wanted me to come live with him and his side hoe, but I told her I'd never leave her. By the time I left her so she could get ready for work we were both almost fully cried out.
While she got ready so did I. I changed into jeans, an mcr t-shirt and convers. She yelled at me to bring a jacket so I wore my black leather jacket over it and started walking.
Next stop. A quick knock on the door. A silent patient pace back and forth. Then a "Oh, hey Ang" from Nick.
I told him about my parents. I told him about my dad. I even told him how worried I was about Peter. And he listened to every word of it. He even put his arm around me when I started to cry.
"Hey, it'll all work itself out, and whatever happens know its for the best. It might now seem like it now, but it'll get better." He calmly rubbed my back and let me cry into his shoulder. I wanted to believe him, and for a little while I did. But every time I looked at his hands I saw them wrapped around Peter's hair and slamming his head down.
So why was I here? What pushed me to keep going back to Nick for comfort? But when I did, I never regretted it at first. His voice was so calming, his arms so reassuring. Whether it was faked or not didn't matter to me at that moment. All that mattered was how he made me feel.
Though he didn't offer the same safty and compassion Peter always gave me. The kind that lasted, and helped in the long run. But Nick made it all disappear for a little while. Wasn't that good enough?
Short answer, maybe. Long answer, probably not.
"Are you going to go visit him? Or you staying here for a while?"
"I have to visit him at some point today. I owe him that."
" you just going out of pity? Talk about shooting a man while he's down. Don't get my wrong, I want him hit by a car as much as the next guy, but he cares about you. "
"I care about him too. A lot. It's just... A lot going on all at once I guess. I dont know if I can handle seeing him like that on top of it."
"Oh, right of course." He stood up and stood in front of me. "You can do so much better than him Ang "
"Don't call me that! No one can call me that!"
"Why? Peter does, Daddy does. Why can't I?"
"Difference is Peter cares about me and how I feel."
"I care too! What do you think I've been doing the last hour and a half!?"
"Stop yelling. If you cared you wouldn't talk about Peter like that in front of me."
And I did what I felt was the right thing, I left. I left and walked all the way to the hospital. If anyone deserved to get hit by a car, it was Nick.