The Diary of Life

To the one who hurt me.

You were always so giddy, and never failed to make me laugh. You tried so hard to get my attention but I never thought you were right for me. It was always me denying you, but we were so close as friends and I didn't want anything to change. You'd tell me you hated that you were an only child. You'd tell me that you wanted to be close to your mom but you never saw that happening. I believed in you an apparently through the days we stayed up talking late I fell for you.

You asked me out and I hesitated to say yes but sure enough I did. You said all the right thing to make my heart leap a minute. All the sorrow I had you some how some way made it disappear and made me laugh. You held my hand and always glided your thumb of my fingers. You always played with my fingers with my fake acrylics on. You liked how long they were, you said you thought they suited me.

You met my parents and always talked to them. You were shy but you tried not to be, you changed and were changing. But little did I know, I was your joke. Your little game you played. You got me to fall for you. You let me tell you all my secrets to just go behind my back and to tell everyone.

      To The One Who Hurt Me, can you understand how confusing it must be? To be told you are loved until one day, you're not anymore? You say you're sorry or didn't mean it, but it doesn't remove the shards of glass from my heart that you lodged in there when you hurt me.

       You thought you broke me, but you didn't.. Not even close. You were the reason so many shit happened in my life, I should hate you, despise you maybe even what to end you. But I don't. I won't. I thank you for showing me how much of an asshole you were. Because i didn't fall in love with you. I'm so glad I didn't but, you tried so hard to mess with me and to destroy me I know now even monsters walk around normally. You will always be rude and disgusting and a shitty person but I will never go that low to show you how much you hurt me. I'm better than that and I know that.

Yet without you I wouldn't have found my boyfriend now who loves me unconditionally and who've I've fallen in love with. You watch him and I kiss and you make these faces. I don't know if you miss me or if you grossed either way you lost me. We will never be the same. I want you to stay the fuck away from me. I'm no longer hurting, I've picked up the pieces you broke. You don't get the right to be satisfy. You missed out on something amazing yet I wasted my time with you.