The Little Things (Vol. 3)

Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

I was five when you first told me I needed the excercise and signed me up for the swim team, but I doubt you remember.

I was six when you first weighed me in front of you, looking down at the number with disappointment, but I doubt you remember.

I was seven when you first wrote my weight in pounds and put it up for everyone to see, but I doubt you remember.

I was eight when you first offered me money, betting on how much weight I could lose in six months, but I doubt you remember.

I was nine when you first announced that the family would be dieting, because we all needed to "drop a few pounds", but I doubt you remember.

I was ten when you first saw me push away my dinner and say I didn't need to eat and that I wasn't that hungry, but I doubt you remember.

I was eleven when you first bought me clothes a size too small, telling me they would fit as I grew taller and got skinnier, but I doubt you remember.

I was twelve when you first got the call from my camp that I had been skipping meals and cutting my wrists, but I doubt you remember.

I was thirteen when you first took me to a therapist to patch me up and make me all better again, but I doubt you remember.

I was fourteen when you first screamed back, after I yelled that you were the one that needed help, not me, it was you, but I doubt you remember.

I was fifteen when you first searched through my things, yelling that I was doing things to make myself depressed, but I doubt you remember.

I was newborn when you first told me you loved me; your precious baby girl, your only daughter.

But I doubt you remember.

~@sadfeelngs on Instagram