Skin & Bones

Act 2

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Act 2: The Denial

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"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, dear Ciphra! Happy birthday to you!"

My mother's blinding white teeth shone brighter than the flash of the camera as she took a picture. Scoffing in my mind I blew out the candles, neatly arranged in a circle of 18.

Come on, 70 pounds! You can do it, Porky!

"What did you wish for Ciphra?"

I stared my mother dead in the eyes, and hissed out my words.

"If I told you it wouldn't come true, now would it?"

We both laughed as she began to slice the cake. It was a bland carrot cake that we had made ourselves. There was a fruit parfait in the fridge too, but that was for breakfast tomorrow. As the small knife cut through the cake's interior, I reminded myself of the rules.

It's your birthday but that doesn't mean you can gorge yourself. You can have half a slice at the most, and we're getting rid of it afterwards.

"Ciphra?"

"Huh! Oh, did you say something?"

"How much cake do you want?"

"Just a sliver, I know how much you love carrot cake."

"Sweetie it's your birthday, it should be about you! Wait...tell me this isn't about your weight again! You're so thin! You shouldn't have to worry about it, let alone monitor it! Here!"

She shoved a giant slice into my face, with eyes that said "If you don't eat this you're going back in treatment." I sighed and took the paper plate in my hands, and immediately let it thunk on the table. It was unbelievably heavy. My hands shuddered as I grabbed a fork and stabbed into the fluffy, delicious, crumbling, disgusting pile of cake.

We are so getting rid of this.

I counted to one hundred after each bite and took a sip of water after each five, hoping to bore her with the routine. Her eyes locked onto my fork and followed it for each trip. She sat there watching the pile shrink for an hour, until I finally shoved the last bite into my mouth.

"Thank you Ciphra. I love you, good night."

I didn't need an excuse to run upstairs, away from her, away from cake, away from treatment, away from it all.

Get rid of it.

I made a beeline for the bathroom, and locked the door behind me. Without bothering to go through my normal precautions I grabbed the toothbrush, lifted the seat, and purged out the whole night. I purged out her, the cake, the treatment, everything. I flushed them all down into the sewer and turned to the mirror. After staring blankly for at least five minutes, I noticed something. Mia, transparent Mia, was sitting on the tank of the toilet smiling at me.

"I need to get some sleep."

Returning to my room, I played through my routine like I was a robot programmed to do it. I was told to take countless pills after I was dismissed from treatment: pills to make me sleep, pills to make me happy, pills to make me sane, and pills to make me worry less. None of them worked, but I took them anyway. Already yawning, I put on my pajamas and slid into my bed like a snake. I played with a loose thread in the blanket until I fell asleep.

"Good Morning, Ciphra."

I opened my eyes like I had been dead for 2 years, and met the eyes of a skeleton. Her bones poked through her skin like it was too small, even for her petite body.

"Sorry, did I scare you?"

She shrunk away like a mouse from a cat, and covered her mouth with the sleeves of her sweater.

"I swear I didn't mean to! I'm sorry!"

Her voice started squeak as she continued to back away from me, eventually curling up in a ball under a nearby tree.

Yeesh! Even your anxiety isn't that bad!

I stood up slowly, and held my hand out to her like she was a stray puppy.

"Are you alright?"

She kept mumbling sorry over and over again under her breath.

"You don't have to apologize, I'm fine. Promise."

I took her hand and helped her up. Her fingers might as well not have skin at all, as her joints were wider than her actual fingers. She looked almost like she had starved, and drowned to death at the same time. Her nails and lips had a bluish tinge to them, and her stomach was completely concave.

"Thank you, that probably wasn't a very good introduction..."

No kidding.

"I'm Ana. Ana Nervosa."

She held out her hand again, but this time she expected me to shake it. Carefully watching her face, making sure she didn't plan on drowning me, I took it. Her grip was frail, and if I were blind I would think I was shaking the hand of an old woman. A sense of déjà vu washed over me as she dug her brittle fingernails into my palm, I let go at reflex. Obviously I wasn't keen on getting killed off in my own dream...again.

She looked like she was ready to cry, and began to bring her sweater clad hands to her mouth again. A high pitched whimper rang in my ears as she begged for my forgiveness. I grabbed her hand once more, this time pulling her into a hug.

"I'm sorry to pull away like that, you scared me a little. That's all."

"So I'm scary now, am I!?"

In a fit of uncalled rage her nails tore through the back of my shirt, and the skin beneath it. Her teeth elongated into shining fangs, and pierced into my neck. I could feel my skin tightening around my bones, as if she was sucking the fat from my body. The sound of skin tearing was all I could hear, until soon I fell in a heap of bones. The thing that called itself Ana spat the yellow, liquid fat over the heap, and wiped its mouth with a clawed hand.

Let them help you.

"Stop it!"

I woke up with the covers over my head, suffocating me. I flung them off, and jumped out of the bed like it was an iron maiden. I stood, wiping the sweat from my brow, for at least 10 minutes. With a sudden reflex I grabbed the sleeping pills from under my mattress, and ran to the bathroom. I flushed the entire bottle down the toilet, and sat in the empty bathtub until dawn.