This humorous book is about a young boy named Jeff. One day when he was out tipping cows, he saw a bright light off in the distance. So, he went to it. What he didn't know, was that the bright light was actually an alien ship, and he got abducted...
Jeff looked around. The "base" was full of hoomins. Jeff was filled with joy and passed out. When he woke up he was on a bed type thing. Silvanavitch was sitting in a chair next to the bed asleep. Drool dripped from her mouth to her neck. Seeping into the spaces between her multiple chins. Her snores shook the room. Jeff stared at her astonishing beauty. He scratched the back of his head as if it hurt. It didn't. He just wanted attention. Jeff heard the snores come to a sudden halt. He looked at her as her eyes flashed open. Jeff quickly started moaning in pain hoping for the loving attention from Silvanavitch. Startled, she tried to get up but the chair broke due to her overbearing weight. "Ugh!" Jeff stopped his want for attention and crawled to the side of the bed and peered over. Silvanavitch was laying on the floor unconscious. Jeff stared for a few seconds thinking she was dead. "OW!" Said Silvanavitch suddenly bursting with activity. "I bip my pong." Said Silvanavitch holding her tongue. "And I think I have splinters where the sun don't shine..." She said slowly turning her head and her butt. "That was kinda late reaction." Stated Jeff. "Uh... Yeah... I have late reaction syndrome." Jeff lost interest and suddenly reminded himself of the attention he wanted. Jeff got up and smacked his head against the door and fell to the ground. Wait for it.... Knocked out. Silvanavitch looked and saw Jeff laying on the floor with his tongue sticking out of his mouth. All the hoomins stared at Jeff as he sat there as still as a rock. Silvanavitch panicked and shouted, "DEFIBRILLATOR STAT!" The hoomins rushed and red blaring sirens went off. There was a screaming panic. Then, a big group of hoomins came rushing in with a code cart.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Silvanavitch yanked the defibrillator off the cart and yelled, "CLEEEEAAAAARRRRRRR!" Jeff slowly opened his eyes to see to big pads of electricity coming towards his face. (Silvanavitch can't tell the difference between a chest and a face). *BZZZZZZZZZT!* "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Screamed Jeff as his face was lit with energy. Silvanavitch pulled the defibrillator away. Jeff was still in... SHOCK! Ha ha. Get it? 'Cause of... the... defibrillator? Anyway, fearing that she had killed him, Silvanavitch tried to do CPR. She put her fat baby-like hands into fists and began punching Jeff in the stomach. Jeff instantly got the wind knocked out of him and was gasping for breath reaching blindly in front of him. He stroked Silvanavitches chins, making them wave. Silvanavitch panicked once again and looked around. She looked back at the broken chair and crawled over to it grabbing a leg. She went back over to Jeff who just then got his breath back and hit him it the face with the wood knocking him out for the next few hours.
