greek mythology

7 1 2
                                    

ok so here's a script in progress of something I have to do for class BY FRIDAY bc my project sucks

•••

BOUNCE2IT!

hey guys, this is something I did for class! yay!

also, yes I'm Greek, no I don't worship Greek gods, I've never been to Greece, and you probably can't pronounce my last name.

stop asking me ignorant questions.

PROMETHEUS AND EPIMETHEUS!

Zeus was like

ZEUS: "ok Epimetheus, you get to assign characteristics to all the animals."

and Epimetheus made some crazy OCs, let me tell you. everyone has a bad OC phase.

Epimetheus gave all of the cool characteristics to animals, and his smart, sensible brother, Prometheus, was like

PROMETHEUS: humans are my favorite animals! let's give them two legs! and intelligence!

so, yeah, that happened.

Prometheus loved humans, and when he saw that the humans burned their meat for the gods, he was all like

PROMETHEUS /quietly/: "yo, humans, don't do that"

and he tricked them into using fat wrapped around animal bones as sacrifice, and Zeus noticed, and he was all like

ZEUS: "alright man no fire for the humans because if they can't burn the right stuff they can't burn anything at all!"

and Prometheus was like

PROMETHEUS: "uh, rude, you can't control them!"

and gave fire back to the humans by lighting a torch.

Zeus was like:

ZEUS: "okay, that was rude and uncalled for, I'll have you know that I'm LITERALLY the king, man, and you can shut up."

so Zeus chained Prometheus to a rock and had an eagle eat his liver.

a little harsh, don't you think?

then Hercules came along, and was like

HERCULES: whoa, Prometheus! Pro-Bro! remember summer 2012? we got all the mortal brides, my man. I'll unchain you.

and he totally did, bro.

then he killed the eagle, because masculinity and stuff.

HERCULES: wait, how are you not dead?

it turns out that Prometheus's liver regenerated, and he was immortal, anyway.

so really, major fault in Zeus's part.

I think they went back to being the best of bros after that.

I didn't talk about Epimetheus?

right, on to the alternate ending!

Zeus was like

ZEUS: "okay, underworld no."

so, he gave Prometheus's not-too-smart brother, Epimetheus, a girlfriend.

it was Pandora.

Prometheus was all like

PROMETHEUS /quietly/: "I wouldn't do that, bro, Zeus doesn't trust me... don't accept gifts from him..."

but Epimetheus was one of those guys and was like

EPIMETHEUS: "SUMMER 2016 BC! LET'S PARTY!!"

and he accepted Pandora.

Pandora had a box, and she wanted to open it, and eventually, well...

PANDORA: "I should open this, ya know. need these dirty d33ts."

and she had the power of persuasion, so Epimetheus was all

EPIMETHEUS: "sure, m'lady."

so Pandora opened the jar, and all the evils were released into the human world, and Prometheus face palmed in the distance.

(but really, did we just ignore all the shady stuff happening up on Mount Olympus? man, Zeus slept with EVERYBODY! and all the INCEST! the evils were already there, Pandora. you did nothing wrong. well, except, you're kind of a crappy music site, to be honest. you do you.)

•••

hope you liked it, I might add more!

You've reached the end of published parts.

⏰ Last updated: Apr 27, 2016 ⏰

Add this story to your Library to get notified about new parts!

TrilovideoWhere stories live. Discover now