Zac was holding my little princess in his arms. I wish I could do the same, but it wasn’t possible. I couldn’t hold her. My hands went right through her small body. I looked at her and she seemed to be staring at me too. I loved her so much; I was ready to die for her.
Suddenly Zac stood up with a frightening look on his face. He was going to wards my Mum really fast.
‘Wait Zac! Where are you going? I want to look at my baby.’
He handed her to my Mum and ran in the room that my body was in. I followed him to where he was going. The door swung open and Zac went in, but I walked right through it. My eyes fell upon the figure on the bed.
‘Melody! Wake up! Wake up! Melody please. Come see our baby; she’s a princess.’ He was crying and I felt a lump in my throat.
‘Leave the room please. You’re not allowed in here. Who allowed you to come?’ It was the nurse, but Zac was ignoring her.
‘Melody! Our baby needs you; she needs a mother. Melody, get up and feed her. I swear she’s hungry.’
I felt like I wanted to die. It was the worse time of my life. I was happy because we had a healthy baby. Thank God for that. But I wanted to hold her. God, I want to be a mother.
‘Your wife can’t hear you. She’s not in a good situation and what you’re doing is only making it worse that it is.’ The nurse was convincing Zac to get out of the room.
He walked out crying. I’d never seen him like that. He looked so distressed and worn-out. He didn’t look happy like a man that had just become a father. He looked like a man who had lost his wife. But I wasn’t dead. I was in a coma; he didn’t know that.
He came out and threw himself into my Dad’s arms and they both cried. It wasn’t the time to cry now. They had to be happy because my little princess was born.
Few hours passed, and my Mum, Dad and mother-in-law were finally convinced to go home. Zac and my sisters, Deniz and Rose, stayed and I waited to see what was going to happen. It was 2 O’clock midnight but I didn’t fell sleepy at all, I guess that’s because I was a soul.
Staying in the hospital only made me feel worse, so I got out. There was a park a few steps away from the hospital. No one was there but the wind was making everything move. The sound of the swaying trees wasn’t calming anymore. The thought of being a ghost hadn’t really hit me, until now, since there were so many things in my mind.
I needed someone to talk to, but no one could hear me. I wanted to cry on someone’s shoulder but I couldn’t touch anyone. I hated this. Why can’t I cry? I thought. Just then a tear trickled down my face. My life flashed in front of my eyes. I thought about all the things I had done in life. Had I been a good daughter for my parents? Had I been a good wife for my husband? What if I was never going to come back to life?
I didn’t want to think about any of these, but they all came to my mind and I couldn’t avoid them. Suddenly, when I fell deep in thought, a lightning struck and woke me from my thoughts. It rained heavily that night and for once I thanked my Lord for it. I always loved the rain, but I never thanked Him when it rained. How could I forget about my Creator? Why hadn’t I thought about Him when I was alive?
I turned to the sky of the rain and let my eyes and heart rain with the sky. I asked God for forgiveness and thanked Him for everything, especially the rain.
