Desirable Lies

Don't Think Twice, It's Alright

~Katy~

"Are you going to tell me where the money came from?" Angela looks at me expectantly over the rim of her third glass of wine.

"John," I reveals before I can filter it. "He and I had a kind of arrangement."

"How did you meet him?" Angela asks, her gaze confused.

"Next question." I might be several drinks past drunk but there's no way I'm telling her about the auction. I needed to maintain some dignity in this shameful situation.

Her eyes never stray from mine as she takes another sip. We're sitting at a tiny bar in the lobby of our hotel. When I'd found out about John's marital status, I'd fled for home, broken hearted and destroyed. Angela convinced me we needed a girl's weekend away. I'd done one better and flew us to Rome on a whim. So here we sit, halfway around the world and all we can think to discuss is the exact topic that sent me running in the first place. Don't they have anything stronger than wine in this country?

"What kind of arrangement can you make with a man where he just gives you half a million dollars, Kate?" Her tone is accusatory. Good thing she doesn't know about the rest of the money, which is tucked inside my own bank account. I know my family has a lot of questions about where the money for Angela's treatment came from, and so far, I haven't said a word. Until now. Her eyes grow wide and she slaps a hand over her mouth. "Oh my God, were you like, his sex slave?" She giggles.

My cheeks burn brightly, but I shake my head. "You'd have to actually have sex for that to be the case, I'd think..."

She's still giggling, so I know she has no idea she's hit the nail on the head. Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner.

"Let's not talk about the money, Ang. It's not important. John was willing to provide it, and I don't regret anything because it helped you get better. Please just let it go," I plead with her to let it drop.  Her health is cooperating for once and I want to enjoy this trip. I don't want to even think about the name John Mayer. It's much too painful.

"If he's as hot as you've said he is, I would have had a hard time not ripping his clothes off and jumping him. Oops, I'm sorry, my vagina accidentally landed on your penis."

I crack a smile at her change in topic. Of course it's about sex. Angela's not a virgin and she's much more forward about sex than I am. You'd think it'd be the opposite, but somehow, I'm the cautious one, whereas being sick from a young age taught her to grab life by the balls and live it to the fullest. I envy her in that.

"Katy?" she asks, drawing me back from my thoughts. "Are you okay?"

"I miss him," I admit softly. "That's crazy, right?"

"Not crazy. That's normal when you break up with someone, from what I hear."

"I didn't break up with him. He wasn't my boyfriend. He's married, remember?" I'd told Angela nearly everything...about me living with him, us growing closer, and about being naked in the pool when his wife arrived home one afternoon. Of course John tried to stop me, all but tackling me in the hallway of his mansion that suddenly felt cold and foreign to me. I waited for him to try and deny it, to explain it all to me, but sadly, it was all true. Stella was his wife. He'd been married the entire time. 

"Technically. But I still think you need the rest of the story. Obviously his wife wasn't living there. How long have they been separated?"

I shrug. "He hasn't had sex in two years." Unless he was lying about that too. I don't know what to believe anymore.

"Damn, that's quite a dry spell. And if he's as hot as you've said he is...it's not like he didn't have offers, right?"

I was one of those offering. I blush, realizing I'd practically put myself on a silver platter for him and he repeatedly turned it down. It's enough to give a girl low self-esteem.