Desirable Lies

Our Love is Worth It

~Katy~

John suggests a white wine and when it arrives, I've never tasted anything quite so light, crisp and refreshing. His amazing taste is just one more thing that's easy to love about him. But I can't go there. Won't. My body has already betrayed me by springing to life when he's near, like when he helped me into my chair and his hand brushed against my lower back. It left my skin tingling. And when he slid out the chair across from me, his tall, commanding presence caused a little flutter in my chest. I need to keep myself in check.

His eyes roam over my exposed skin, my bare shoulders peeking from the straps of my dress.I'm glad our siblings are picking up the slack when it comes to making conversation, because John and I remain completely silent. Small talk doesn't seem to fit my mood and I'd have no idea what to say regardless. They chatter away without a care in the world while John and I exchange serious looks.

"So how long are you guys here?" Angela asks.

"Depends," Ben says.

"On?" I challenge. As far as I'm concerned, John has made his point, showing up here in some masculine display to claim his property. He can piss off now, thank you very much.

John's sad eyes slide over to mine. "I want a chance," he says, his voice low. A chance to explain, or a chance with me?

"Isn't that what she gave you all those weeks in LA?" Angela asks, coming to my rescue.

Thank you, God. I look over at Angela, communicating my gratitude without needing to speak.

John watches the interaction happening between me and Angela, no doubt wondering what I've told her about my time in Los Angeles. I hope he knows me well enough to know I'd never tell our secret.

"I fucked up. It was wrong not to tell you..." John's voice is thick with emotion, unlike I've ever heard him before.

"Stella is a bitch who..." Ben starts.

John holds up one hand, silencing his brother. "No, Ben. This is my mess. I will fix it."

I have no idea why, but the sudden urge to ease his pain and anguish flares up inside me. "I'm here aren't I?" I say, meeting John's eyes.

His sad look disappears ever so slightly. An hour later, we're on our second bottle of wine before the waitress even thinks to bring the lunch menu. I realize that John's suggestion of grabbing a quick bite to eat is quickly turning into an all afternoon affair. The pace of this country's meal times are nothing like the US.

"Let's order some lunch, shall we?" Ben, asks, handing me a menu. Our food is finally delivered, and while we eat Angela opens up about her treatment. I can't help but notice John leans forward on his elbows to absorb every word. He knows the hefty price tag for the treatment was made possible by his generous winning bid. And maybe it's the charitable side to him, but I can see in his expression that something inside of him feels proud to have helped.

When Angela probes John about his work, he makes some remark about investment banking and then launches into a detailed discussion about his charity foundation.

Angela is in awe listening to him, clearly he's a great catch who just got even better in her eyes. "Katy's work is missed. She was a big help those weeks spent getting Kylie caught up." He reaches for my hand and I move it under the table.

Though the conversation buzzes around me, I can barely keep up. My head is filled with questions about John's marriage to a woman he supposedly doesn't love. Why did he marry her? Where has she been while I've been sleeping in their bed? My entire relationship with him now feels fake.