Wherever You Are// Luke Hemmings Fanfic

Chapter five

Me and Calum watched tons of movies after Ashton left. He made me feel whole. You know? He made me feel happy.
We ate ice cream and he tickled me for so long, I laughed so hard the ice cream almost came out of my nose.
"Oh my gosh! No haha" I laughed trying to grab his hands to make him stop tickling me.
"Haha yes!" He laughed and kept digging his fingers into my ribs.
He kept tickling me until I started crying from laughing so hard so he stopped, but it was so funny.. We sat in silence for a moment after he stopped. Just taking each other in...
He inched closer. And closer. And closer until we were face to face. I stared him in the eyes and say how beautiful he was... And I'm pretty sure I realized how much I still care for him...
I smiled and broke his concentration but as soon as I did he leaned into me and his lips connected with mine and I swear... In that moment we were infinite..
"Oh." I said and broke the kiss... "I didn't... I mean.. We should... Uuh. I'm sorry" I said rubbing the back of my neck awkwardly.
"No. No it's fine.." He said smiling sheepishly. "I should probably get going..."
"Oh... Okay." I said half smiling. I just didn't want him to go so soon...
He grabbed his beanie and walked to the door me trailing behind him.
When we got to the door he spun around on his heals and grabbed my face. Kissing me one more time. Before I could pull away I felt a wave of electricity take over me. And I couldn't stop myself from smiling. Which made him pull away.
"I'm sorry. Again." I smiled.
"Oh no, don't apologize. I loved it..." He smiled.
I just smile. Really really big and I felt embarrassed for smiling so big and my fave getting so red... But right now... I don't even care. I'm just so happy right now. And I don't even want to think about Luke..
Luke... I forgot about Luke... What if he comes back for me? What will I do? What am I going to explain? HOW am I going to explain? I shouldn't of kissed Calum. Or Calum shouldn't of kissed me. I don't know... That just shouldn't of happened Bc Luke... The love of my life might come back to me. It's only a matter of time right? He's gonna come back right? I'm praying he will.. More than praying. I'm begging...
"So I'm going to go." Calum said snapping me out of my thoughts.
"Okay.." I said meeting his gaze.
"So I'll see you tomorrow?" He smiled.
"Sure. See you tomorrow."
And with that he left. I'm so confused right now and I feel a headache coming on and I don't know what I'm supposed to do about the whole kiss and the whole hurting Luke. Even though he's the one who had been killing me this whole time. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do...
I walked into my kitchen and grabbed an Aleve and took 2 and swallowed the small pills with some water.
I went up to my room and decided to take a shower since it was 7:47 pm. Because I normally don't feel like doing it later.
I grabbed some clothes out of my dresser and plugged my phone up to the charger.
While walking into the bathroom I accidentally knocked off my jewelry box from my night stand and my stuff went everywhere.
I started picking it up when I saw something that sent me back into memories.. 2 small razor blades... I used whenever I couldn't stand life anymore... I would just cut deep with these.
I remember blood running down my arm and the sting but the relief at the same time. I remember the tears pouring down my face and the feeling of being worthless.. Those memories... Where memories you don't just forget... They stain your brain and makes cutting addicting... And you want to keep doing to keep feeling that relief..
The only reason I stopped was because my mom made me... But who knows? I might just "slip up" one day, and have to cut again. You never know...
I went to go take a shower while the memories replayed non stop in my head until I went to sleep. Then I had dreams of heart break and the pain of feeling like I was dying... I didn't sleep.
I kept tossing and turning until I could take it anymore.
I climbed out of bed and walked over to my jewelry box... I took out one of the blades and looked at it... I pulled up my sleeve and harshly drug it across my wrist wincing at the pain.
I had forgotten how bad it hurt... But as soon as I cut myself there was a knock at my window...
Oh crap... It's Ashton again..
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A/N hey guys I'm sorry this is a short chapter but I'm making them shorter so I can update faster Bc it takes me forever when I try and write a long one. But dang can you believe Zoey did that??^^