I Know This Can Work

Pain with thoughts

-Dahvie POV-

I coughed and groaned deeply, curling up on my side. My head pounded and my muscles ached. I blinked a few times and sat up on my elbows.

"How the fuck did I get home...?" I squinted and looked around my messy room, having no memory of coming back here. I rolled out of bed and threw on some clothes, half crawling out of my bedroom. The light of day burned my eyes and I went downstairs, flopping face-first onto the couch.

"Morning, Dahvie." I heard Jayy say from the kitchen.

"Mmph..." Was my reply as I turned my head to look at him. "Did I get laid?"

"Nope."

"Damn..." I sighed and rolled onto the floor, my colourful hair sticking out every which way. I heard Jayy laugh and his bare toes tapped my side.

"Get up and eat, we have music to work on," he said.

"Aye aye, cap'n Jayy."

The day rolled along slowly and pangs of depression kept washing over my thoughts as I strummed tunes on my guitar, finding one to fit the lyrics Jayy was murmuring to me.

(Later)

"I've got a date right now, but we can hang out when I get back." Jayy threw on a tight fitting shirt and leather vest, adjusting his hair in the mirror. I layed on his bed, flipping through a magazine as I listen to him. "Maybe watch some scary movies and laugh at you flipping shit."

I pouted and chucked a pillow at him, "Hey! They're called horror movies for a reason!"

"They're also just movies, Dahvie. Screaming bitches in front of a green screen." I could see him smile a bit before turning and heading to the door.

I got up and practically jumped on him, my arms around his neck as he dragged me down the hall, my toes brushing over the floor. "Shut up! They're scary either way."

"If you say sooo.~"

"I do!"

"Alright, relax tiny. Now get off before we both fall down the stairs and crack open our heads."

"Mmm brains." I grinned, licking my lips as I laughed lightly. I released him and he turned to kiss my cheek.

"Bye. See you when I'm done with this whore," he winked and jumped down the stairs, slamming the front door behind him a moment later.

I laughed and went on to do my own thing.

(2 hours later)

I sat on the bathroom counter, carefully painting in the deep crimson dye onto my hair, the radio playing on shuffle from my phone at a low level. I glanced at the blue streaks in the sink, "Finally I can change the color..."

I sat with my hair away from my face, rummaging through the shelves of the mirror cabinet. My fingers brushed over a thin rectangle wrapped in cream paper. I lifted my eyebrows and glanced at the scars marring my raised forearm, then back to the little packet sitting upon the glass. I bit my lip and picked it up, slowly unwrapping the paper to reveal a shiny razor blade. I picked it up from the paper and pressed the cold edge to my bare forearm. A few beads of blood appeared around it and I swiped the blade down quickly, wincing softly. My heart lept as I felt the tingling sensation that had addicted me to this habit long before.

"I'm so fat..." I carve the last word into my upper forearm, watching the blood gather and slowly drip down my pale skin.

"Fag... Ugly... Stupid..." The words cut into my arm one by one, the flesh gradually becoming numb to the deep cuts. I slash over the middle of my forearm with the blade twice, watching the blood fall to my thighs. I look down at them and push around the torn parts of the jeans, slashing the fat flesh there as well. More blood bubbled up and I trembled slightly.

"Why am I doing this...?" I continued to cut where my skin was showing, squinting a bit, "Because I'm stupid enough to break the two month streak out of a lousy habit... I am fat though... Urg! Look at you, fag, dying your hair all different colors. What's that all about? You like to show people how big of a weirdo you are? You do a great job." I glared at myself in the mirror, my face weakening as I looked down at the cuts. I heard the front door close and I looked at the clock. It read 10:20 pm. I hissed a cuss and stumbled out of the bathroom and into my room, throwing off my jeans and swiftly pulling on a pair without holes. I grabbed a striped long sleeve shirt and threw that on as well, nearly dashing to the bedroom door as I heard Jayy call out for me, walking up the stairs.

"Dahvie, you awake still? Lets watch a movie like you said we would," his voice was sing-song and careless.

I forced a smile on to my lips and hopped on to him when he appeared around the corner and nodded, "Alright, fine! But you have to order us the pizza."

He nodded and put his arms around my waist in a tight hug, squeezing me to him in the process, "Haha, alright chubbs.~"

I cringed slightly at the playful name, thinking of earlier, but ignored it. I walked into Jayys room and flopped onto his bed, grabbing the remote and turned on the TV. The large screen came to life but my face was suddenly pushed into the blanket the next second, Jayy laying on top of me with a deep laugh. Wincing slightly at the pressure on my legs I wiggle around under him.

"Hey! Get up, you're heavy!" I grinned and grabbed his arms, pushing up on them.

Jayy laughed and pushed down on me, "Neverrrr!"

"Pweeeaaase~~," I say, turning my head to look up at him cutely.

His smirk softened a bit and he leaned his head against mine, lifting his weight a bit to let me roll onto my back, "You and that face, I can't say no to it." Jayy rested his arms on either side of me, caressing my face with his hands tenderly.

Smiling, I rest a hand on his cheek, slipping my fingers slowly along his neck. "I know.~ Oh, how was the date...?" I ask hesitantly, not wanting to feel rude.

Jayy twisted his lips and shrugged slightly, closing his eyes, "It wasn't... Good or bad. Let's just say there won't be a following one with that skank." I nodded and fixed some smudged eyeliner at the corner of his eye, looking over his face.

"Time to watch the movie?"

"Totally," Jayy smiled and sat up, flopping onto one side of the bed. He built up a few pillows behind him and I layed down on my stomach beside him, hugging a big stuffed dog to my body as I skimmed through movie titles appearing on the TV. He nudged my hip with his knee and I paused. "Yeah, let's watch that."

I pressed a button and quickly read the description and stiffened. "Fuckin' perfect, Jayy. You just had to choose the horror flick with zombies in it!" Pouting, I look back at him. A pillow covered his smiling lips and I tapped the side of his head with my foot. He pretended to bite my ankle and smack my ass, laughing. "Hey! Dork!" I giggle and sit up, leaning in to tug at his hair. Jayy went quiet and grabbed my left arm, turning the wrist side up. My eyes widen as I notice blood soaking the white and black stripes. "Shit!"