Helter-skelter

Introductions PT.II and Traveling Hearts

It was only a matter of time until mine and John's new founded affair was discovered by the media. The rumours from months before had already made his wife highly suspicious of our previous friendship. And bringing me to London with him only fueled the fire even more.

It was early fall when John invited me to his home when his wife and son were away. It was a time in our lives when we were incredibly naive with the situation we dug ourselves into. Making love almost every night we could. His constant purchases for me. His dominance when I was pursued by other men who simply looked my way. He was a loving man and it was soon I was in deep trouble with my agent. His anger at my completely carelessness with showbiz and my heavy partying with my new friends from England were enough to land me without him. But I didnt care. I was staying with John, in the studio watching him and the other Beatles recording, who all welcomed me with open arms. I felt like a princess among them.

It wasn't until one early morning John's wife arrived sooner than expected and we were caught. That was the beginning of what seemed like a roaming battle of romance.
..........

London, England
1969

Two cups of coffee and a sleeping John Lennon. My bare feet swiftly walking back and forth to the record player then to the kitchen where I stirred in sugar and creamer into a full cup and headed to the bedroom where John slept laying on his stomach.

"John." I whispered. He didn't stir. I set the cup on the nightstand, slowly crawling ontop. My body laid on his while my fingers danced in his hair. "Jooohhhnn."

"Mmmm."

"It's seven-thirty." I smiled.

"It's too bloody early."

I kissed the back of his neck. "I have to leave in two hours."

He picked his head up and laid it back down with a sigh. "I dunno why ye can't stay."

"You know why John. It'll only be a few days." I kissed his shoulder. "Filming will be over." Another kiss. "You'll get time off." Kiss. " Then I'll fly back so we can find a place together."

He mumbled. "I want you 'ere. With me."

I sighed and played with his hair. "I know baby."

"We just got married."

"I know John. But first we have things to take care of. Besides you'll have the band to keep you busy."

He slowly rolled on his back, making me sit up. "There's somethin I think we need to talk about."

I stroked the side of his face and nodded. "Talk about what?"

"I don't want to be in the band anymore."
.....

I was asked to lie on my back in nothing but a sheet. The man behind the camera giving orders to his helpers. I disheveled my hair to make it seem as if I just awoken or was tossed around a bit, getting sweet words from the photographer about my beauty. I blushed and found myself posing as flashes filled the scene. The smell of cigarettes from the watchers, more orders, then flashes. It continued on and on as I sat up and slowly pulled the sheet off with the request of the man behind the camera. My eyes staring right into the lense.

In all of this I kept thinking of John early this morning. His words.

I don't want to be in the band anymore.

This wasn't the first time he's spoken this way. It only arose when he was tipsy or angry with one of his friends. But this time he was truthful. Sober. He was serious and I knew this.