Sold #2 - A Desperate Love

Chapter 22

It was hard for Tai to really concentrate as he led Lani around the house and showed her the most appropriate room for her, keeping her well away from his brothers room and his antics with his fiancée, as well as giving her the only other en-suite bathroom that wasn't a part of his own or Michael's room. All morning his head had been spinning, recalling memories he had shared with his ex-girlfriend Natalie and trying not to think of her betrayal, but finding it an impossible task. And now that Lani had arrived and was innocently reminding him that he was and could be attracted to other girls and that he was very much considered attractive himself, he only felt more confused over what to feel for who. Should he feel guilty for not being there for Natalie, just because she had cheated on him...she was pregnant after all and Kyle was so young, no-one knew how he was going to cope? Should he be feeling the attraction towards Lani so soon after breaking up with his girlfriend for the last time and finding out that she was pregnant by someone else? Wasn't that a bit soon? Especially when she was just as innocent and sweet as Darcy had been upon her first arrival there, still a virgin, never having had a boyfriend or any kind of relationship with a boy, or man as he considered himself. She hadn't even been allowed to make friends with local boys, each of them all having been kept inside the school for their own protection of innocence. It wouldn't be fair if he revealed his attraction to her and heard her admit a similar attraction to himself, only to begin a relationship with her and force all his problems upon her shoulders. It just didn't seem right to burden her with his newly intensified workload, his ex-girlfriend's pregnancy, his best friend's personal dilemma over whether to be a father to her baby...it seemed so much for someone who was still so emotionally young, so sweet and undeserving of all those problems, when she still had problems of her own to deal with.

It didn't matter he supposed, everything had happened now, there was nothing he could do about it. But as Tai left Lani to unpack and settle herself, suggesting she phone her uncle and let him know that she was safe and was going to have somewhere to stay until she could get on her feet and find a job, and perhaps an apartment of her own, all he could do was go into his room quietly. He felt lost suddenly, as though there was nothing he needed more than a good argument with his dad about facing up to his responsibilities, or to have a quick chat with Michael and have him shake him up and maybe even hear some decent advice from Darcy. He could only imagine that she was going to be one hell of a sister-in-law. She could put his brother in his place with more ease that it took her to blink and yet, it wasn't a question of dominance or winning arguments, or even the cheeky way she verbally brought him down a peg or two, it was purely because he loved her to let her. Nothing big, just love.

Then again, as Tai sank onto his bed and stared ahead at his desk, full of pictures of him and Natalie together, the weight of the situation was finally hitting him...he had been in love with her. He hadn't been aware of it at the time, but now that it was too late to tell her, now that it was over, it was beginning to hit him just how much he cared for her. Everything he had done, working so hard non-stop, working for money, to build up an account with which they could buy an apartment or a house together, it had all been for her. Maybe what Michael felt for Darcy was stronger and more resounding, it certainly did strange things to them both and his brother had never been one for giving in to someone just because they had looked his way or because of the sound of their voice. Whatever it was, it hurt like hell and as Tai crossed over to his desk and took all the photographs and anything else that belonged to Natalie, he knew that the only thing for him to do, was to get rid of it all so he didn't end up dwelling on what might have been. It was painful to see how happy they had once been together, laughing and smiling in each photograph, giving her piggyback rides, holding her hand, kissing her and being the best friends they had always been since the minute they met. He would have done anything to turn back the clock, but at the same time he was a little relieved that all the arguing and the late nights working were over. He didn't have to avoid staying over at her house just because she couldn't respect his privacy or his exhaustion enough to keep her hands to herself, he didn't have to work all hours until the early morning and then only have an hour or two's sleep before staring all over again just so they could afford to live together and have some privacy of their own. He didn't have to work all day at the garage and then drag himself to the law firm to finish up his work there and end up falling asleep over his desk because he was so exhausted, it was all over.