Forever

VI

Olivia saw it all—the moment Austin got down from the stage to the moment he removed his jacket to the moment the girls approached him to the moment he talked to them to the moment he signed autograph on their chests. Everything was clear from where she was standing, and witnessing all of that made her feel something in the pit of her stomach going to the unfamiliar feeling stirring in her chest.

It annoyed her, and she was so close to storming towards their little huddle and tug Austin away. It's the thing called jealousy; she knows that because she is not that stupid, yet she still labelled herself as one because she is feeling that thing when she knows she doesn't even have a right to feel it.

She doesn't want it, to feel jealous because some pretty girls approached him. She cannot feel that so what she did when she noticed that Austin was finally standing in front of her was to mask a smile on her face, changing her mood into a cheery one.

"Hi there," she greeted Austin, smiling. The lad noticed that sudden change in her—from having the unreadable expression to this smiley one. He cannot understand what was currently going on in her head and that made him furrow his brows.

"Are you okay?" He asked her to which she returned with an enthusiastic nod.

"Of course! I enjoyed your gig so much! Good job right there!" She said, playfully smacking his arm. Austin smiled at her uneasily, still trying to read her. Something in him was saying to explain himself regarding what happened a few minutes ago, and he did just that.

"Uh, Olivia, about what you just saw..." He started off but then was immediately cut off by the brown-eyed girl.

"Its okay, it's normal. You're famous and pretty fan girls accompany that. And you don't have to explain yourself on me, Austin. It's unnecessary," she answered back as flatly as she could but it came out in such a sour tone. Olivia mentally slapped herself for that.

"No, it's necessary," he said in such a serious tone, taking her aback. "Those are nothing, okay? They just asked for autographs, and it just happened that..." he added but she cut him off immediately.

"Austin, don't do that, please. We don't need it," she begged, trying to stop where the conversation was heading to. He shook his head and continued.

"Olivia, this is necessary. I have been clear from the start with what I am feeling towards—" he was again cut off when Olivia took a step closer to him, hugging him tightly, her arms snaking around his waist. Austin eyes widened at her gesture, stumbling a bit.

Olivia rested her forehead against his chest, as Austin hugged her closer to him. "Don't say it, please. Just... don't say it," she pleaded as Austin just heaved a deep sigh, not merely following what was going through her mind.

*

Austin was driving his car as Olivia was seated on the passenger seat after they bid goodbye to his band mates. It was 10 in the evening, silence embracing their surroundings, the car windows down as Olivia was staring far ahead somewhere outside the window. Austin suddenly parked the car on the empty parking lot of what seemed to be like a twenty-four hour CVS. Olivia looked at him curiously.

"What are we doing here?" She questioned out as Austin removed his seat belt.

"I'm hungry," is what his answer, earning a chuckle from the girl. They both got off from the car, walking in to the store. Grabbing random snacks they can munch in, they then paid everything to the sleepy cashier behind the counter. They walked back towards the car, and just as when Olivia was about to open the door, Austin gestured her to sit on the hood.

Olivia followed his lead, sitting on the hood as each of them grab a bag of chips, tearing the package open. Olivia bit into the sour flavoured chip, looking at Austin. "Aren't you tired?" She asked him, remembering the gig he had awhile ago and she thought that he should head back home and sleep.

Austin shook his head, grabbing a can of Coke, drinking the soda out of it. He put down the can, wiping his lips with the back of his hand. "Surprisingly, no," he said, smirking. "It feels like I've got so revved up 'cos of the gig and the energy hasn't even died down a bit until now."

Olivia nodded at his answer, staring at the empty parking lot in front them. There was silence for a few minutes; just the sound coming from the soft aluminium bag as they simultaneously fish out chips from it can only be heard.

Olivia cleared her throat after some time, speaking. "You know," she started, making Austin look at her. "It just hit on me how big you are right now, and how big you can be in the future," she said, looking down on the bag of chips she was holding, shaking it a bit. "Your gig is such a huge success, I'm really sure you can make it pass the NY competition without a doubt."

Austin smiled warmly at her. "Thank you, Olivia. That really means a lot," he said. Olivia remembered how Austin performed awhile ago, how it seems so natural of him to do that, how he looked so free, how he captivated every single person watching him.

Her, being included in that count.

"I've heard you've been picked as the representative of the university for the interstate contemporary writing competition," he suddenly said, making Olivia looked at him with eyes wide opened.

"How did—"

"Lauren told me," he answered even before she finished the question. Olivia furrowed her eyebrows, cocking her head to the side in a questioning manner. "I've met her awhile ago when I was searching for you. She mentioned that you're in the library working on your piece," he continued.

Olivia heaved a deep sigh, shaking her head in a shameful manner. Austin chuckled lightly. "She's quite a happy girl, isn't she? She's also asking me about Martin awhile ago. I didn't know she's into Asian guy," he said, taking a chip out of the bag and biting into it. "Why didn't you tell me you've gotten an offer?"

She smiled uneasily at him, looking down once again. She didn't like informing the people around her the things she wasn't sure of, especially Austin. It just makes all the expectations high when it shouldn't be that way.

"Erm, I'm not actually sure if I'm going to accept it," she confessed silently, making Austin shift on his seat to face her properly, eyeing the girl curiously.

"Why?" He questioned her out. "It's a prestige offer. It's your chance," Austin said, making Olivia nod.

"I know; I'm not stupid," she answered. "But it's just that, I don't want to accept things that I don't know if I can fully accomplish. I don't want to give them hopes when I am not sure if I am fully capable of doing it and being there," she said, causing Austin to frown, not merely following her thought.

"Can't fully accomplish? Why? Lauren said the competition is three weeks away from now," he said. "And why are you worrying of being able to make it there? Is there something wrong?" Austin asked, and Olivia just looked away from him.

She doesn't want to answer that, not for now.