Lost

Mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes. Some people just make more than others. People say we have time to fix our mistakes but I never did. My mistakes were very big, and I made a lot of them. Some were bigger than others. One I made was going to a party while I was supposed to be studying for an important test. I went to a huge party, got drunk, kissed some guys and then failed the exam the next day. That meant I had to repeat a year and stay behind with people who were younger than me, yeah that was embarrassing. And was it worth it for the party, no. Another mistake I made was skiving off school during an important lecture that could make or break my high school exams. Well it broke them which meant I had to repeat another year. So having to stay behind with people two years younger than me was practically mortifying. You would have thought I would have learnt my lesson by now but I unbelievingly hadn't. My third mistake was going swimming in a freezing cold pond in the rain during a game of truth or dare. No one else would do it do I said I would, stupidly enough. This meant I was way too sick to complete my exams well and couldn't think straight so I had to repeat yet another year. Funny how life turns out huh. Anyway I could sit here and list all my ( many) mistakes but let's get into my big one. Running away from home.

In my forth year of collage I didn't fit in. I was still bullied but it was worse than middle school. In middle school you were called a meanie, poo, idiot, but at collage you were called ugly, fat, a slut, bitch, whore and worse. I had a reputation as a girl who bucked off school, failed her classes and insulted girls in the corridors. The only problem is that is a pretty accurate description of what I was like in high school. At home it was no better my new little step sister ( my mum married another drunken, abusive, guy who had a spoilt, petty little daughter.) was a nightmare. She got what she wanted, when she wanted it. She chose everything we did as a family and I never got a say. She was the definition of flawless to my mum and step dad. An angel from heaven, and I was the devil. I got beaten up by my step dad, got hurt verbally from my mum saying I was a failure when actually I just needed a tutor to help me with my work and to top it all off my stepsister bullied me behind their backs and blamed me for everything. So you can see why I ran away right? I didn't belong. I would never belong. It was time to leave my so called life and find a better one. It didn't turn out like that though.

I ran away with my treasured processions ( some clothes, a book, a magazine, some makeup, and money ) and got the bus far away from my house. I lived on the street and hitched rides from strangers. I sang in the streets for money but earned little. I decided to join one of those groups of guys who clean people's Windows when the traffic light turned red. I tried many groups but most of them said to go home to my daddy I stood my ground but it didn't work. Finally I found a group who warned me about it being illegal but let me help. I earned more than before and slept outside. I ate a tiny mount of food to save money. I saw no adds for the newspaper looking for me. I guess my family didn't really care. No one did. I could have turned around and gone back. Passed my exams and had a nice home. I should not have let bullying bring me down but I did, and that was my biggest mistake. I regret running away now because now I have a crappy job and 3 mouths to feed. My beautiful children. Two girls and one boy. I love them to pieces but their father ran away. Good riddance. Never trust a boy I always said. I had had enough of disgusting men to last me a lifetime so I didn't want my children growing up with a drunken, abusive one too. Throughout my childhood I learnt a lot of lessons. I faced more than the average child. But this makes me who I am today and with out I wouldn't be who I am. I am thankful for all the obstacles life threw at me because it made me strong. Now I am happy. Everything happens for a reason, even if you can't possibly think what the reason could be. I am now 26 years old and I never once spoke about my childhood. I kept everything inside me. So now I am telling you my beautiful eldest child Delilah. I am writing this in a diary hoping it will help you one day. So thank you life for making me strong. That was the past, it's finally time to start a new chapter.

THE END

A/n I wasn't really feeling this book so I ended it here. I hope this book has left some kind of impact on you or you enjoyed reading it. It was my first book so I am not very Proud of it. So thank you all for reading and thank you for those who stuck by me until the end. I am going to be writing a new book, I'm not sure what about so stay tuned for that. Thank you all so much

Disclaimer: I am in no way, shape or form saying that all guys are bad and will cheat on you and run away and break your hearts, it's just this characters opinion, many boys would not do that so don't sue me 😂

Until next time friends ❤️❤️