SALSA

~3~

''The real She is still present in the deep valleys of her barren soul.''
#Hazel Sahin#

''When are you starting your job?'' He asked me while taking a sip of his coffee. In the morning, he is what I call normal!! Calm and nonchalant, no fighting and no swearing, well swearing part is still present in him in the morning. But I can say morning is the time when we look like normal couples.

''Tomorrow.'' I said eating olives from my plate.

''I can't wait for your salary. I'm getting short of money for my needs and on top of it, your burden.'' A lump formed in my throat hearing his words. What else could I expect from him? Rapacious!! He has only forced me to find a job for myself to supprt his income, selfish. I don't have any problem with that , supporting him financially. But I know he will use my hard earned money for his tactics, drinking, drugs and what not. He thinks of me as a burden, a burden who acts like a punching bag for him, a burden which he fu*** when he wish.

He took his bag from the table and made his shirt sleeves proper. I stood up from my seat to clean the dishes. He called me for a kiss, it's a daily routine. He would kiss me before going to his work. For a normal couple, it would seem romantic but for me it sucks. Kissing the man who I hate. He gave a coarse kiss and left, leaving me in the prison called home which is now peaceful after his departure. I washed my mouth thoroughy to nit get the taste of his alcholic mouth.

Today, I had to do the laundary work. So, I started with my work. After laundering, I mopped the house and I am damn tired right now plus dirty. I haven't showered since two days. It's not that I am a dirty bag or I don't like to clean myself, the reason is the wounds hurt so much when they are fresh and my left leg is alsi injured. Although, last night, I got fresh wounds, but right now, I am feeling dirty so I am going to take a shower. I took my sweatpants and my green floral T-shirt and hanged them in the bathroom. I undressed myself and suddenly my eyes spotted a wounded girl in front of me, pallid and haggard with purple marks on her elbows, shoulders and stomach. That girl is me!! My eyes started brimming. I started the shower and cried, cried for my helplessness, cried for my weak self, cried for living and bearing this man for past three months, cried for my parents whom I havw never met, cried for Uncle Yessir who was a kind man, cried for my fate, my pain, my melancholy and all the things which I could think. I closed the shower and took a heavy sigh.

''I am not weak...no...i am not.'' I talked to my reflection in the mirror but my mind saying the total opposite. You are the weakest of the weakest, not having any self respect, no personality, you are just a pain, a pain for everyone, useless, you can't stand up for yourself.

''May be you are right. I am useless, weak, a coward.'' Sighing deeply, I dressed myself and headed towards the kitchen to grab one or two olives, I am hungry after doing so much hell of a work.