Nashville (FanFiction Parody)

Welcome Home

Jacob's breath misted the air in front of him as he stood on the path to his home. Having returned from Vinewarts School of Bitchcraft and Fuckery, his travelling clothes (Nike Roshes and a Hype t-shirt) were crumpled and barely retaining their new smell. Jacob refused let any clothing item older than three weeks touch his sun-kissed skin. A few more miles and he would finally reach Nashville, the place where he had grown up to be the dapper young gentleman he is.

Further up the mountain he climbed, his twig legs barely straining as the incline steepened. The odd smell of charred wood was tangible in the air. With furrowed eyebrows, Jacob began rapping to himself as he neared his home.

"A B C D E F G, H I J K L M N-N O P."

The rap was one of his newest compositions, a structured and meaningful piece. It was growing to be one of his most famous songs, the lyrics resonating with everyone, everywhere.

Jacob stopped dead as he finally climbed over the ridge into Nashville. His small, underdeveloped heart gave a painful throb as his eyes fell on the charred remains of Nashville. Everywhere was in ruins. The small cottages and houses nestled in the valley still raged in flames. With an agony-filled sob, Jacob dropped to his knees on the ridge.

This had to be the work of someone heinous.

As small Vine logos leaked from Jacob's eyes in the place of tears, he clambered to his feet and sprinted down into the village.

"Papaw!" he cried, kicking the more inferior bodies out of the way on his search for his father. His rather modest three story mansion (with forty-three bedrooms) had been entirely burnt to the ground. The flames tried to catch onto his Roshes, but they just couldn't do it.

"Jacob," a voice coughed from the ruins. Jacob whipped as he climbed over a fallen rafter as he frantically searched for the source of the voice.

"Daddy!" Jacob cried as he fell to his knees beside his injured father, who was trapped under the burning rubble. His father, Jinx, wheezed as he tried to breathe. "No, Daddy," Jacob said weakly as he held his father's hand. "Please, stay alive for your questionably profitable React™ion channel."

"Jacob," Jinx wheezed, "He's still here, Jacob."