Island.

Chapter 16

Sixteen.

I was laying in my bed, with my feet hanging off the edge. My hair spilled over the pillows, and just mindlessly staring at the ceiling. We had a break from school for one week. Only three days had passed and I was already out of things to do. Being grounded definitely had its drawbacks.

 I practically took all the cleaning jobs from the maids. It was either giving myself kitchen duty, just to do something at all, or go to my room and find something to read. I wasn’t the best chef, and I really didn’t want to burn this house down.

My mom walked into my room, standing by the doorway. She looked different. Not as cold as she usually did. She leaned casually against the doorframe, folding a kitchen towel. Her expression was softer, there was definitely something that I was missing.

“Ava, dinners ready.” She came all the way here to tell me that dinner was ready.

Wow. I couldn’t help the grunt that escaped from my mouth.

My mother and I didn’t have the typical mother-daughter relationship. I was handed off to a nanny that could find the time my mother didn’t have, to take care of me. My mom, being a lawyer and all, didn’t have much time for herself.

She took what seemed like a long, hesitant breath before looking directly at me.

“You’re not grounded anymore. I just wanted to let you know.” There was something behind her eyes. That look of hopefulness? It was gone before I could identify it.

 Sometimes, I wished badly that things were different between us. I never had the moments where I could tell her about a bad day, or about someone I thought I liked. I couldn’t tell her about the days I had really huge headaches and just wanted to stay home.

The reason? She was always consumed in her office, arguing on the phone with whomever’s case she was working on. She was always in there late at night, half asleep and still typing away on her computer. I only saw her at dinner time, the only real time she didn’t let her work life interrupt. 

I got up and followed after her, not wanting to hear a mouthful for taking too long to come down. The table was set for two. My heart immediately sank. Two place settings usually meant that my dad was held up at the hospital. We hardly ever got to see him. If we saw him twice out of the entire week, we were lucky.

But I learned to deal with it. His job was important, and there were a lot of people with unhealthy hearts. This island was so small, he may be the only cardiologist working in the small hospital that’s here.

“Dad’s busy again?” I asked as I pulled the chair out and sat down. One of our maids rushed out carrying two bowls of soup and placed one in front of the both of us.

“Yeah. One of his patients is very ill. He doesn’t know if he can help him. You know how he gets.” She replied, sipping on her soup. A silence loomed in between us. I hated these pointless dinners. My mother and I couldn’t connect, no matter how much she forced us together. It just wasn’t possible.

Even as she was dedicating time for us to even have this dinner together, she was busy sifting through a pile of folders that were beside her. That was unusual, considering she usually paused her office work for the short half hour for dinner.

“New client?“ I asked, not wanting to pry into her business, but trying to save myself from a half hour of silence. She put down the folder she was looking at only to signal a maid in to remove the soup and bring out the entrée.

“Maybe. I’m trying to see if I can snag these people when I’m ready to go back to the office in a few weeks.” She said, and for the first time, actually looking at me while she spoke. The maid put a plate with risotto and steak in front of us. The smell wafted to my nose and I couldn’t help but to dig in.

“How much time did you take off from work?” I asked after I had finished chewing. The food was delicious. If my mother was good at anything, it was her job and her uncanny ability to hire the best chefs in town.
 
“About a month. I figured I’d get used to the town, the people before I go back to the office. I’m not sure if your father told you, but I think we might be staying here for a while.

That was a first. My mum had to really like this place in order for her to stay here for a while. I smiled tentatively, but on the inside I was jumping with joy. Seriously, moving every couple of months was exhausting .

“So, I’m going to meet up with some friends later, if that’s okay.” I told her, anxious of her reaction. I winced, waiting. But she didn’t seem to be angry. A more…sullen expression graced her face.

“I was thinking that maybe you would take me around the town. I didn’t get a chance to go out since we got here.” She said, picking at her food like a disappointed three year old. But I was shocked. She actually wanted to go out with me.

“I kinda already made plans with my friend Leia. But I’d really love to take you out tomorrow if you want.” I couldn’t help the beaming smile I had plastered on my face. She actually wanted to spend time with me. A smile of her own greeted my eyes.
“Okay.” She said.

I didn’t know what brought along this change, but I was grateful for it.


~

“You have to wear that!” Leia practically shrieked from inside my closet. She pulled out a short black dress, that had a one shoulder sleeve. It fell just above my knees. She also went in deeper and pulled out a pair of gold sandals, that I forgot I owned. We were going to her house for a party they were throwing for her mom.

Everyone was supposed to be there, and I mean everyone. That included Keanu, Maika, and Phoebe. I just hoped we wouldn’t all end up in the same room. Leia was wearing a midnight blue halter top and light grey skinny jeans, with black flats. It was casual but she made it look better. How she maintained that figure, while eating everything she wanted, was a mystery to me. And envying my friend because of her amazing figure was the least of my problems.

My mother was keeping tabs on me through Leia’s mom. It felt weird not to be trusted. Like I was some criminal, that had to be watched. Things were still fuzzy when it came to my mother. I just couldn’t figure her out for the life of me. I mean her going from that work consumed, distant person to the person who suddenly wanted to go around town with me was a little weird. But I was glad for the change.

Leia giggled and a mischievous grin lit up her face like it was Christmas morning.

“What are you thinking?” I asked her hesitantly.

“I was thinking that your dress is too plain. We need to dress you up.” She said while waving a make-up brush around. It was going to be a long night.

After a half hour of applying various cosmetics to my face, which she wrote down so I could do it myself, I was allowed to look in the mirror. And what I saw, was amazing.

This girl in the mirror, had smooth, glowing skin, beautiful almond shaped eyes and lips to die for. My skin wasn’t its normal pasty pale color. There was a hint of blush on my cheeks. And my usually dull brown eyes were sparkling with awe. Lined in a black liner and dusted with an almost caramel colored powder, they seemed larger than usual. They were outlined in a thick fringe of eyelashes, that I swore I never knew were that long.

“What do you think?” she asked me nervously, as if this was a test and she wanted to know if she passed.

“Wow.” It was all I said. And she held up the curling iron, waving it around.
“Time for your hair,” she said while running her fingers through my flat, lifeless hair.

“We’re gonna be a while,” she said eyeing my hair with distaste.

~

The music was a soft beat. Almost a hum. It was a totally different feeling, coming to this party and actually feeling like I wanted to enjoy it, rather than get caught up in trying to impress people. The adults were outside, at the front of the house. Leia told me that the backyard was where all the younger people would hang out, until the party officially began.

She managed to pull off that bohemian look on me. She did wavy long curls in my hair, and with my glowing skin, it looked pretty damn good. When she led me through her house, to the back, I noticed Phoebe right away.

And she noticed me too, with a glare that could shatter the Great Wall of China. She was about to walk over to me, when someone spun me around, and immediately led me to a table with drinks.

Maika.

And his grip on my hand was just a little too tight. His gaze flickered toward me, wanting me to say something.

“Thanks, I uh, owe you.” I said, while he released my hand. There was something different about him. He wasn’t smiling like he usually did, and he hadn’t said a word to me yet. He had this very serious expression on his face.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, his gaze on my face never faltered. This kid was acting so different.

“So, I uh, didn’t plan this, I swear. But seeing you tonight, looking like…Ugh, Ava, I really like you. Like as in more than a friend. And I want to take you out. Will you go out with me?” He blurted finally throwing a sheepish grin on. This is what I regretted, and prayed to avoid. And I could feel that I was going to lose a very good friend tonight.

I took a breath, to clear my head. Earlier, I thought it would be good for me to have someone like Maika. He was sweet, funny, and he cared. It was like he had what it was to be the “perfect boyfriend.” But it was almost too perfect. Apart from his killer looks, there wasn’t anything between us. I didn’t feel that deep connection like I did with Keanu. It just wasn’t there.

I hated telling Maika I just wanted to be friends. I hated that look on his face as I told him. I hated how he wouldn’t make eye contact with me after. I hated how his face lit up when I told him he was one of my best friends. Because I hurt him, in the worse way possible. And it was all my fault. Leia told me not to lead him on, and I told her I wasn’t. But as I think back on it, I never once told him that I wanted to be just friends. Everything I did showed him to go for it. God, I’m so fucked up.

We agreed that we were better off as friends, although I couldn’t do anything to wipe that hurt expression off his face. He hugged me, and told me he was going to talk to Aoki, one of the girls I met when that volleyball thing happened with Weirdo. I scanned the crowd for him, not seeing him anywhere. I scanned the beach-backyard and I spotted him all the way down by the water, sitting in the sand sipping on a drink. He was alone.

I grabbed a drink off the table, immediately smelling the alcohol. One drink wouldn’t hurt, right? Besides my mom wouldn’t know anything because Leia’s mom was nowhere in sight. I walked slowly down the beach, the drink in one hand and my sandals in the other.

The waves, crashing in a steady rhythm against the shore calmed my nerves considerably. A million different questions buzzed through my mind. What was I supposed to say? What would he say, when he sees me? Would he want me to stay? What about him and Phoebe? Would she just listen to him and stay away? All these questions confused the hell out of me.

He looked up when my shadow blocked out the late afternoon sun. He looked almost sad and I ached to know why.

“You didn’t have to come you know.” He said softly, his voice just the slightest bit louder than the waves. He picked up a shell and played with it in his hands. I just sat there quiet. I could sense that he didn’t want to talk.

I sat, waiting patiently, knowing that this was our way of communicating. I could feel him. It was a weird sensation. I could feel what he was feeling, just by being near him. It was like we were connected in a different way, like this was my purpose. We didn’t need words, we just focused on the waves coming steadily to the shore. He finally looked up, with a small smile.

 A small, sad smile.

“Aren’t you supposed to be with green eyes over there?” He asked me referring to Maika.

“Um, no. But if you want me to leave, then I will.” I said while getting up. He got up, fast and grabbed my arm as I started to walk away.

“Don’t do that. I was just curious.” He said. I couldn’t think about anything other than the burning I felt where his hand met my skin, and my mind was all clouded because of his obsidian eyes boring into mine. He leaned a bit closer, putting his hands to rest on my arms.

“I’m sorry,” he said in a low husky voice. His eyes held that wicked glimmer in them, that told me he knew exactly what it did to me. My breathing hitched. He leaned over to me closer, so close that his face just barely brushed mine. He brought his lips to my ear, his warm breath caressing my skin.

“Forgive me?” He asked slowly. His voice alone was driving me mad. He pulled back to look at me, his eyes smiling and his lips turned up in the corners.

I decided to play his game, I cautioned him with my eyes, and leaned dangerously close to him.

“Not yet,” I whispered into his ear. And it was his turn to blush.

We spent the rest of the night together, laying in the soft sand, and pointing out the stars. He told me stories about his childhood. And about some of the people that went to our school. I couldn’t help but admire the way the moonlight hit his face, making his features sharp and breathtaking. He caught me staring at one point and felt self conscious.

He sat up, bringing me with him.

“Would you mind if I kissed you?” He asked.

It was cute, the way he asked before he did it. But that same wicked glimmer reappeared. I nodded and watched him lean closer, and closer to my face. His lips hovered above mine, just barely brushing against it. He was teasing me.

 I could see something more in his eyes, a flash of uncertainty. Like he wasn’t sure if this was the right thing to do.

Keanu finally gave up on arguing with himself, and let his lips meet mine. The kiss was soft, and then grew more passionate. There was a urgency in the kiss. Like he needed it. He needed me. His need alone made me weak in the knees. He released all of his pent up emotions in one kiss.

We finally pulled apart for air, and he pulled me down on his chest. We laid there looking up at the stars, finally feeling as if a giant weight has lifted off our chests. This felt so right.

“You’re forgiven.” I mumbled, with a soft smile on my lips.