Illusion

chapter 6

I woke up next morning really early because of lack of comfortable sleep actually.

I stood up and opened the front door to let some light in this house. I later sat down by the piano. I know a little about piano. Daddy taught me a little bit to Andria. It feels so much different. I let my hand slay on the keys. The white and black keys reflect so much of our situation right now. It is an old masterpiece. I closed my eyes as I pressed the first key. It was so silent and the sound created a whisper in the cold heartless room. I pressed another key and another. I didn't even realize when I started creating music in that room. I wanted my feet to move and let my soul digest in the grace.

I didn't know if I could play this thing. My hands were playing over this thing and I didn't even realize when I sounded so well. My feet were moving and then my head started moving. I started singing the tune with me. It bought me back to who I was; the little girl who would put her ballet shoes on and her favorite pink tutu.

"What are you doing?" dad screamed from upstairs running downstairs, "How dare you to touch it?"

All of sudden my system stopped and stood up from the seat. I don't know what to say to him.

"I...I..." I mumbled.

"How dare you?" he screamed again. I could see the pain through his eyes. I could feel the regret the hunger that amounts of so much hate for me. I could see how badly he wanted to play this thing and yet he didn't and failed. I could feel how weak he was only pretending to be strong as hell. I could feel his icy behavior just to ease the pain and to shut me down.

"Why daddy?" I finally asked. I am totally feeling nervous what he might do. "Tell me you remember this tune? I never played anything since five years and this is what I played for the first time. Please play it for me for once."

"You can't do this, do you understand?" he screamed and threw the vase on the side table on the floor. The vase was broke into a million pieces just like my heart.

Heart broken

People crashes

Causes pain

"Daddy!" I screamed wiping my tears, "Please come back to me."

"You want me to come back to you and bring misery to you? You want me to be that daddy again? You want me to burn you too like your mother?" he said furiously as he walked towards me. The distance between us was less now. I was afraid. I've never seen someone so angry like him. He was in so much in pain and I just sobbed and cried. He was yelling to me and it shows he cares and this means world to me. His stone black eyes had a different story to tell. He was sorry and those words never touched his lips.

I was totally stunned at him. I was afraid of what he might do but I knew he wouldn't do a thing to hurt me. I knew even if he do that will only because he'd want to shut me off and I'd gladly go back and fall into his arms. I know he is blaming himself for something that was never supposed to happen and this breaks my heart.

"It was not your fault." I assured him nervously, "please don't do this to yourself."

"You were eight Andria," he told as he put his fists on his head, regret filling in his head, "leave me alone."

"I can't. I don't want to," I replied as I rubbed his shoulder and hugged him from the side. He pushed me back furiously.

"You can't come knocking back to my door anytime you want. You can't just play this piano. You can't just go hugging me around or calling me daddy. I am not your daddy. I am just the one who gave you birth and get it straight you don't mean a thing to me," he said furiously and his words pierced my wounds. Why? He wants to shut me down? Come again I am ready to fight.

I need some space. I need some air.

"I need some air," I told dad and went out from his house in nightwear, a pink pyjamas and an iron man t-shirt. But I did snatch my purse from the table.

I am chasing something that was once mine, I am drowning in something that never appears to float and I'm dreaming something that once I wished from the shooting stars.

Yeah a crazy freak with freak clothes on New York streets.