STORIES TOLD, STORIES LIVED

Chapter 13

ARINA'S P.O.V

Woke up to pounding head and wet pillow.

We're in the tour bus again. Things got even more awkwars than it already has been. I never let my bunk curtain opened anymore. Ironically, my unfinished conversation with Riley yesterday gave me indeed plenty of fanfiction ideas to work on. So I must say, I was working effectively, but dying at heart.

"Arina? Uhm... Hey it's Anthony. We've arrived."

"Oh right." I replied from my dark bunk. "Climbing down, Sir, thank you."

"Are you okay? Or not feeling good, something? If you-"

"No, not at all, I'm okay. Girls problem, you know, that us girls can't even handle it ourselves." I smiled to him.

"Right." Anthony smirked and walked out of the bus. "I'll be at you know where I'll be!"

Second irony. That last words Anthony said was our kind of funny conversation. It described how busy Anthony, James, and myself could be during the prep time. I used to laugh at that. I still laughed at that yesterday. But the lights was dimmed. My heart was torn and broken. It didn't have enough space for joy anymore.

You taught me to follow my dreams
You showed me that my passion will take me somewhere
I'm doing what you told
I'm chasing my dreams
But there's one of them I can never achieve
To have your heart
- Arina Shaw

Today I met and talked to Katie for fanfiction purpose. She's a nice bubble of happiness. I liked her already since first time Anthony led her to my writing room. Today's fanfiction was about broken heart, which I had a ton of threads about it on my laptop already. Funny how everything that I did today let me to my sadness.

"Thank you so much for trusting us to write this story." I hugged Katie. Session's over.

"The honor is mine, Arina. This one turns out so good I can't even believe it."

"You made it good." I winked. "Sean is one of our crew too, and he will take you back to your VIP line. See you around!"

"Bye bye!" Her excitement filled this room.

I stared at Katie and Sean's back miserably until they disappeared. I should help Anthony at this point. Not that this pain took over my productivity, it's just, hard to explain.

"This one's going to be sold out again." Suddenly Connor appeared from the hallway behind me.

"Every single day of tour, I hope." I replied and smiled.

"Are you okay?"

"Dang, why is everybody asking me the same question Con?"

Connor pulled my hand into the room I was having my writing session at. It's because two fans were walking toward us to find a bathroom, perhaps. Since Connor should never be seen around, yet, so here we're hiding.

"I'm just... Look. You've been a part of the team, girl. You're like a sister to me already. So if you have anything, just anything at all, to share with me, I'm more than glad to listen."

I was about to open my mouth and cry to Connor, but I realized he's his brother.

"Just like what I told Anthony, this is a phase where girls-"

"Yeah? Didn't you just finish with that couple days ago? You told us before. I remember that."

"Mood swing, then?" I cleared my throat. Connor had a good memory. "I'm fine. Maybe it's from the last fanfiction that I just wrote. Still feel a little bit mellow and what not."

Connor walked around the room. He examined me, my face, my body language. I guess it was a big mistake to lie to a big brother. He could find your flaws just easily.

"Surprisingly, Riley's been acting the same."

"Yeah? He's tired maybe." I played with a pen in my hands.

"You two were going out yesterday in Pittsburgh, right?"

My body's shaking. Suddenly it hit me that maybe Riley told his brothers some stuff. Gosh, I wanted to redo yesterday morning and chose not to go with him.

"Connor? Warm-up, bro!" James knocked the door.

Oh sigh, saved by the bell.

"Okay!" Connor yelled back at James but he locked eyes on me. "We're not done yet. And, the offer stands. Let's talk later."

"Break a leg!" I cheered him instead.

Couple minutes after Connor left, I walked back to the merch table to help clean the mess those fans made. Anthony was overwhelmed with the orders. Again, we had to print more copies of fanfiction and ship it to them.

"Done." Anthony let out a deep breath. "Could you please help James with everything? It's about to start."

"Sure, boss." I smirked.

I walked down the hallway to the changing room. I heard their warm-up routines. Show's started in three minutes. I walked in.

"James? Is there anything I can help?"

"Arina!" James exclaimed excitedly but he looked exhausted. "No, we're good here. But come over."

I sat on a table, looking at the guys as they prepared the monitor. Even Toby asked me to help make sure his monitor cable wasn't all over the place. They prayed, did a little more warm-up, and waited for James' clue from backstage.

My skin was burning again. I felt it. So I looked over. There Riley sat on a couch at the corner of the room, staring at me so deeply. There's sadness in his eyes too. He wasn't joking about how he couldn't hold himself from staring at me anymore. My eyes were watery.

I wanted to hug him, but it's just a wish.