My Inner Demon (A BBRae Fanfiction)

Good Morning

Today is like every other day. I walk out to the kitchen to make my cup of herbal tea.

"Good morning, my dearest friend!" Starfire runs up to me with her arms wide open. I put my hand up before she can hug me. Her arms drop to her side as she looks at her feet.

"I am sorry, sometimes I forget that you do not like me."

This is not true. Although she gets on my nerves and I constantly shut her out, she is one of my best friends. But I can't tell her that or I risk destroying her.

"Did you have the good night's sleep?" She asks.

"Sure." I respond with no emotion.

"That is splendid!"

I go and sit on the couch to drink my tea and read my book of Edgar Allen Poe poems. I find that I can relate to them. 'Thing of evil!-prophet still, if bird or devil!' -Edgar Allen Poe

Robin walks in and sits at the other end of the couch. He always tries to be considerate of me and I greatly appreciate it. He knows I need space.

"Morning, Raven." He says.

"Good morning, Robin."

"Hey everyone! Guess who just beat the robot snot out of Cyborg at video games last night?!" BeastBoy shouts as he plops down right next to me on the couch, spilling my tea everywhere.

My face turns hot.

"Oops! Sorry, Raven!"

I stand up immediately and rush to my room before I lose my temper.
It is moments like these that I find it hard to control my emotions.
I wanted to yell at him. Maybe hurt him... But I couldn't.

I hear a knock at the door. "Go away." I say. I don't like to be disturbed when I'm in my room.
It's the only place in the tower that I can escape to.
It is the only place where I am safe from myself.

"Wanna hear a joke?" It's BeastBoy. He thinks telling jokes is some sort of an apology.

"No." I say.
A lie.
His jokes are stupid, but I find it sweet that he tries to make me laugh even though he knows I never will. He always tells me even when I say I don't want to hear them.

"Why did the cookie go to the doctor?" He waits for a response that will never come. "Because he felt....... CRUMMY!" He laughs. "Get it? Cause he's a cookie, and cookies are crumby, and he felt crummy!"

"That is possibly the most idiotic joke I have ever heard."

I hear him walk away. I hate shutting him out, but I have to or my emotions would cause me to lose control of my powers and my father would be able to control me, so it is for the best.

I decide to stay locked in my room for the rest of the day so I can meditate. After a few hours of doing so, I hear yet another knock on the door.

"Raven? It is me; Starfire... I do not wish to disturb you, but you have been in your room all day. Are you alright?"

I stand up and open the door. "I'm fine." I say.
I think about saying more; about actually opening up to her.
"Maybe I could just tell her- NO!" My thoughts interrupt themselves. I can't.
I look up and realize we've been standing here for at least a minute in silence.
She smiles at me and grabs me, pulling me close... She's hugging me. No one ever hugs me. I think about hugging her back, but that would be a sign of weakness, so I don't.

She lets go. "I know you do not like to talk about your feelings, but I am here if you wish to speak." She starts to walk away. I can tell she's hurt.

"Starfire," I say. She turns back with a glimmer of hope in her eyes. "Thank you." I say.

"Always." She smiles and walks to her room.

I close the door and return to my meditation. "Azarath metrion zinthos... Azarath metrion zinthos..."