Hidden

Alone...

I'm here alone...just thinking of what's going to come next...will it be better or worse...I can't sleep because I'm not relaxed...I'm troubled...I've been a failure to here,not being able to help her...just useless...I'm going to lose her...maybe I have and she won't tell me...what should I do though...what can I do...I love her so much,just the thought about her brings me to tears...but tonight she's left me alone...as it was my fault that she did...my thoughts and feelings pushed her away tonight...now my mind is blank,with tears flowing from my eyes,my heart beating rapidly,my body nearly twitching,and my head pounding...what can I think in a situation like this...I'm just here...sitting on my bed...with my blanket over my head...hearing my voices of regret...thoughts of her possibly speaking with "other" people scares me...after a certain incident...I can only live in fear of that ever happening again...she wonders why I'm so worrisome,paranoid,and scared...for that reason exactly...but what can I do here now...I look around and just see darkness...shadows...and hearing moment...I wait here just wait to pass out from exhaustion...I do nothing here but talk to myself...about what I can improve...I hear my stomach growl...as stress does not let me eat properly...I look down and continue speaking to myself...waiting to pass out...and jump into another nightmare...waiting for the sun to rise and to see what the day has in store for me...if I decide to "continue" the day...and depending on if I'm still alone by morning...