dear sweden,
you made me genuinely happy. every little thing; your sweater paws, our debates and inside jokes, your curly hair - the list doesn't stop there. i was crazy about you and i hated that. i hates that i cared so much about you, just for you to turn a blind eye. i saw the way you looked at her and plunging a knife through my heart would hurt less, honestly.
i got so excited when we exchanged phone numbers, i really took the "just call me sometime" straight to my head. don't underestimate how much i liked you. you were a really great friend.
of course, i was too blind to notice that these feelings i had for you weren't mutual. i had liked you for three years and kind of just pushed my feelings aside. you were just someone who made me smile all the fucking time.
and your friendship with her didn't cross my mind once. i had always thought you were just friends, but i heard you confess your feelings for her, and not me. before i knew about you liking her, i knew who she was and how she treated people. she has made people cry, she argues with everyone, and whines if she doesn't get her way. all in all, she's literally the biggest bitch i know, but she's also smart, popular, ASB president, and then you say you like her. i cried, i sulked, i pouted, but i'm slowly getting over you. i can see our differences and i guess you're just not that into me, and i get it.
this has been the first time i've been on the receiving end of being friend zoned. i was truly ignoring everything around me because you had me wrapped around your finger and i didn't mind. i was whipped for you.
but honestly, what's the point of crushing on someone when you know they have eyes for someone else? i'm getting over you, slowly but surely. my heart still flutters when you text, i still get butterflies when we make eye contact, and i still get jealous when i see you two together.
but i'm accepting the fact that we are just friends. isn't that what i need to do? accept it and move on? i dedicated three (?) years to having a crush on you but now i know you like someone else. the affection between you two is so painfully obvious. you're just what i need in a friend and i hope we can remain this way as the years go on.
with love,
cece
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aye it's cece n this is a letter i will never send to a beautiful, beautiful person. sigh. if you're a friend of mine irl i hope you didn't read any of that yikes
