UsUk Smut

Save me pls

"When I wuz a young boi-"
"England shut up! I'm tryin to work on my Florida problem!" America shouted.

England looked up from his book and widened his eyebrows in surprise. "Florida has a problem??" He demanded.

America walked into the living room. He had no pants and no shirt and no boxers and no socks or shoes. Basically he was just wearing his bomber jacket.

Florida was huge.

"Hory shit." Japan gasped from behind the couch.

"Japan gtfo, we're trying to fix Florida's problem." England moaned. "Engrand-san, why are u moaning rike that?"

"Japan plsss go awaaay." America grouched.

"Fine. But use protection." Japan disappeared.

America took all of England's clothes off and they had lots of fun with Florida. Somehow Japan came back and now there's lots of pictures on his and Hungary's famous yaoi blog. Lots and lots of pictures.

"England, I luv u."
"I don't luv u."
"Wut??!!!!"
"I luv Francis froggy-pants." England turned to glare at America, who was sobbing now. Soda flavored tears pouring down his face.

~(•~•)~

"Mon amour, your burning down the kitchen. Stahp." England sudenly realized he was standing in the kitchen, the toast he was cooking had caught on fire, and France was scared that his house was gonna burn.

France was staring at him. "U ok scone-boi?" He asked. England nodded and scratched at his eyebrows. Had it been just a dream??? If it was, England though, that was a horrible dream. England summoned flying mint bunny and he put out the fire while England went to sit down.

"England dear, I hope u know that I luv u." Francy murmured.

"I actually luv Murica. Sorry France." England whispered.

France started crying. Wine flavored tears pouring down his face.
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(AN) That wasn't so much crack as it was shitty writing. Whoops.