Memory

Raw Feelings

Seungcheol tapped his foot on the wall behind him, searching the gates for Doyoon. The school day was about to start and he wanted to get the conversation over with as fast as possible. By groups, students walked through the metal doors chatting and laughing with each other. Seungcheol caught someone's eyes and they immediately began to whisper into the ear of their friend.

Furrowing his brows he watched them walk past through the other set of doors, he could barely hear Jihoon's name. He turned his head in attempts to hear the rest of the conversation but everything they were whispering about was overpowered by the other conversations going on in the hall.

He continued his search for Doyoon, more groups walked through and there were more groups talking about Jihoon, occasionally he would hear his own name but he could never figure out the rest of the sentences. 

The long blaring of the bell resounded through the courtyard and Seungcheol had no choice but to get to class his eyes took one more sweep across the right gate, fountain, and left gate; still no sign of Doyoon.

First period went by faster than he remembered it would. The first thing he knew was that Mr. Ake was getting side tracked by all the underachieving students that always talk then complain about how they don't understand what he was trying to teach. Seungcheol blocked out their remarks about how Mr. Ake didn't know how to teach and the next thing he knew, he was going to his English class.

He opened the binder and a small folded paper fell to the floor. 

'After school, I must walk with you along the road

Saying "Good Morning" and "Goodnight" with you so you can't let go of your phone

I have a lot of plans but when I start I can't say anything.'

Seungcheol's brows were knit together when he read the three lines over and over again and wondered if it was for Jihoon. He wished he wrote the date down to know whether it was written before or after he and Doyoon got together.

He flicked his pencil around in his hand as they read Shakespear for the fifth time. Not paying attention to Hamlet swearing upon the blood on his palm to keep his father's secret he turned his head when he heard his pencil hit the carpeted floor. Leaning over in his chair he checked the tip and examined the chipped edge, sighing he marked a piece of paper to dull down the lead.

As he traced over the same spot repeatedly he felt a sense of deja vu. He grabbed onto the memory and trailed it back to a room but he couldn't figure out exactly where it was. It wasn't his room, his room had curtains instead of blinds and his desk was black, not wooden with a built-in light. 

There was a journal on the desk and he read it, guilt began to settle in his gut but he couldn't point out exactly why.

-

"Wonwoo." Seungcheol pulled on the other's arm to get his attention, his friend turned and slowed his pace so they could walk together.

He teased a little before addressing Seungcheol's concern, "Mingyu's going to nag about me being slow again but what's up?"

"Who's Jihoon?"

"You remembered him?" Wonwoo's face held shock and relief, causing confusion to spark in Seungcheol's brain.

"Is it a good thing? Why are you so happy?" Fixing his composure by clearing his throat, Wonwoo shook his head.

"Nothing, you just seemed different when you don't know about him. He was your childhood crush." Wonwoo caught the sight of Seungcheol digging through his pockets and pulling out his phone.