101 Letters [Brustoff]

Day 25

Today was sad. I hugged your mum. She kept crying and telling me how she misses you and how she just wants you back. She's a mess. I'm a mess.

It was quite a sunny day, which was ironic. I guess pathetic fallacy is only in books. It was outside and everyone was in their best black suits and dresses. I kind of hate the colour black now. It's such a sad colour now. Everything is just sad now. Nothing is happy anymore.

Your mum gave a speech, and so did your dad. They were short, albeit long and stretched out. They cried a lot. I gave one afterwards. I'm sorry I broke down crying halfway through and couldn't continue. I wanted to talk about how much I love you, but I couldn't even get to that. I'm pathetic.

We had to sit around, on these black plastic seats. I can't stand the colour black. We watched, not being able to do anything but that, as we watched your body get put 6 feet under ground before watching as they threw dirt on your coffin.

Everyone was crying and in tears, sobbing about how you were gone and never coming back.

I don't believe it. I refuse to.

You have to come back soon. Everyone's really fucked up over this. Please come back soon. I want things back the way they used to be. I miss it. I miss you.