A Heart Filled With Hate

7

Chris' pov

When we finally made it home, Hannah was sitting on the porch drinking a cup of coffee in the dwindling darkness. She wore a blacked cropped tank top and matching high waisted shorts. A mottled grey, chunky knit blanket was draped over her, keeping her warm in the mild yet cold winter. She walked towards my stopped car with her bare feet padding across the cold ground.
"You're dad said that he wanted me to be here for when you got home." She said as I stopped the car and pulled the keys. Mike shifted in his seat beside me but didn't fully wake up. I unlocked my seat belt and let it slink away from me. I popped my door and stepped out as Hannah set her hand warmer mug on the top of my car. She gently wrapped her arms around my neck and I held her by the waist.
"Are you okay?" I asked. Usually she's emotionless, holding everything in, but now I felt as though something changed in her.
"Yeah, other than the fact that you smell like a month worth of sex." She said in a playful yet cold tone. I let out a partial snort at her comment.
"Go take a shower. I'll get your bags." She said as she pulled away from me and went to the trunk.
"Where's your other bag?" Hannah asked as she put my back pack on. I opened the back seat door and pulled out the tote and held it in the air.
"The blankets are back here too." I said as I handed over the bag.
"Hand some of them to me." She said as I leaned across the seat and grabbed the pile of fabric.
"Eww, now I know why you smell so bad." Hannah said as she looked into and took the blankets from my arms. She ran away from me and into the house quickly. I began to clean the mess, starting by using an old t-shirt to wipe the cum off the leather. I took all the clothes and miscellaneous items and piled them into a shopping bag that had clothes from when I went to the mall with my sister around half a year ago. I hung it around my arm before I went to grab the sleeping Mike.

I pulled on a set of clean clothes and wrapped myself in a fuzzy blanket before leaving my room. My soaked hair dripped down my back slightly but wasn't too bad. I had left Mike to sleep on my bed since it didn't seem like he would wake up any time soon. The house was silent other than the sound of the floor creaking under my feet. Hannah sat in the laundry room, on top of the dryer cross-legged as she read some thick book and waited for the load of laundry to be done. Ash was asleep on the couch with some guy sleeping under her. I quietly made my way through the kitchen and grabbed the mug of coffee Hannah had made me. I slipped out the front door and walked around to the back of the house on the wrap around deck. I dropped sideways onto the swinging bench and looked out at the wild field that surrounded me. The air had a brisk quality to it, causing me to hold my mug close to my face, letting the steam warm me. A flock of ravens sat in a grouping of leafless trees. Tall weeds stood out in the comparatively shorter grass. The rising sun caused the world to glow around me as I slipped into thought.

I was actually happy. Despite being hella tired, I was happy. Not fake happy either where you know you'll wake up feeling numb the next morning. The type of happy where you feel like everything is finally okay. When you can look back on everything in the past year and say to yourself that it all happened so that you can be where you are now. Where you almost want to light some incense and meditate because you feel so at peace with how things are working out. Even though Marilyn isn't home and Ash was cheating on Mike and something is up with Hannah, it all feel like such small problems. I wish every day were like this. Coming home from a long time on the open road with someone I love. Being able to watch their serine face as they sleep soundly and the world is nothing but a hum around them. Coming home and being greeted with a warm hug in the edgey weather. And just knowing that less than a hundred feet away from me there's a lady that raised me since I was a child, a teenager that has been with me through all the good times and bad, a new addition to the people in my life, and my sleeping beauty. A week ago I was miserable that my dad wasn't home. I was jealous of Ash that she always has someone that loves her in her life and she always treated them like shit. I was frustrated with Hannah still treating me like a little kid. Tomorrow the sun will rise and the cycle will start all over again but I will always have that urge to break the cycle.