Twist of Fate

You know what they say...

Valkyrie sat arms crossed, face fixed in a resolute scowl. 

Skulduggery watched her amused. "You do realize you're angry with a plate of sandwiches? You look a bit mental! What did the tuna ever do to you?"
She fixed him with a glare before returning to look at the plate in front of her.
"Honestly, people walking past the window are looking, I'm embarrassed to be seen with you!" he pushed on.
"You're a standing pile of nothing but bones, of course people are staring!" she snapped back at him, the silent treatment clearly not working. 
"I'm much more than that, I'm funny. You always laugh at my jokes. I'm intelligent, how many other skeleton detectives do you know, huh? Youth are just so rude these days. You have no respect for your elders. Now eat your sandwiches like a good little girl."
Valkyrie threw a sandwich at his head. A piece of cucumber stuck to one of Skulduggery's eye sockets and she could no longer keep up the angry charade. She tried to fight back her laughter, but when Skulduggery just looked at her and asked "what are you looking at?" it was too much and tears streamed down her face as she laughed at him.
Skulduggery tilted his head to one side, the cucumber sliding to the ground as he did so, causing Valkyrie to snort and lose herself in more laughter.

"Ghastly," Skulduggery shouted, "Ghastly she's lost it, please help me, I fear for my life, she's finally gone mental! GHASTLY!!!"
A scarred head appeared around the corner of the tailor's kitchen, Ghastly was wearing a pink, sparkly apron adorned with bunnies. It was all too much for Valkyrie. She fell off her stool and lay on the floor, her ribs aching from laughing so hard.
"I see you like my Christmas present," he frowned, "Dexter seemed to think it was highly amusing too!"

Silence fell. 

"Ghastly, you said the buzzword. You weren't supposed to say his name! You poor soul. I say this because you're a true friend and you would do the same for me... run! Run and do not stop until you reach Thailand, she's a monster! Hurry, before she gets up! Run, you fool! Go! Leave! Oh god, she's getting up, why aren't I running? If I die, please tell the Bentley I love her!"

Valkyrie stood to face him, and rather than glaring she had tears in her eyes, her lips trembling.

"Oh... this... this I was not expecting. Ghastly, fetch the girl some chocolate!" Skulduggery said as he pulled Valkyrie into a tight hug.
"He'll come back, he always does! Vex is harder to shake than Bono!" he says comfortingly, stroking her back gently.
"It's mono, not Bono you idiot." She replies with a small laugh, pulling away to look at him.
"Are you sure? Bono's songs are very catchy you know. Hard to get out of your head! Who doesn't love a bit of U2?" he starts singing the chorus to 'With or without you' and Valkyrie falls back onto her stool and starts to nibble on the corner of one of the sandwiches.

A loud crash causes Valkyrie to jump and Skulduggery, who was still singing, to let out a scream of surprise. 
"Oops, sorry about that!" Fletcher laughs and he accepts Valkyrie's hand up from the floor. He dusts off his knees and grins at Skulduggery, "Nice scream Skul, not sure they heard you in the Sanctuary though, might want to be a bit louder next time!"
"It was not a scream," Skulduggery retorts, "I was singing opera."

"You hate opera!" came a voice from the other side of the room, Ghastly had returned, minus the apron, with a tray of chocolates.
Skulduggery puts a hand to where his heart would be and in a hurt tone replies, "and I thought we were friends. Betrayed by those closest to me. It's a cruel world!" He sits sulking whilst Fletcher relays his story to the rest of them. 

Dexter Vex, Saracen Rue and Frightning Jones had all been sent out on a mission to hunt down Billie Ray Sanguine and two other criminals on the run, but nobody had heard from them in nearly two months. Fletcher said that he had met up with them in Guyana the week before and they'd traced Sanguine to a remote village there.
Valkyrie sighed, she was so glad Vex was alright, she hated to admit just how worried she'd been. Nothing was known of the two criminals he was on the run with, only that they were to blame for countless murders. Fletcher explained that the mission was almost completely successful and the Sanctuary had the two unknowns in custody. Once again, to nobody's surprise, Billie Ray had escaped. Vex and Rue were to return that evening, Jones was heading to the English sanctuary to update their elders. 

They spent the evening sat in Ghastly's shop waiting. They ate cupcakes topped with little Spider Man wafers. Valkyrie and Fletcher taught the other two how to play Monopoly, a game that Skulduggery was not very good at. He lost spectacularly and did not take it well. 
"I didn't want to win anyway. I work every day to prevent world domination, this game undermines my life's existence" he retorted to the frequent jibes. 

By 2am they were all struggling to stay awake, except Skulduggery, who sat in the corner playing Naughts and Crosses with himself.
"Ha Ha, take that!" he would shout. "You think you can outsmart me?".
"Can't you just knock him out? Remove his head or something Ghastly? He's driving me insane!" Valkyrie moaned sleepily. 
"Unfortunately," Ghastly replied, "Even death couldn't stop him, I highly doubt removing his head will do anything!" he sighed and turned his head to watch the skeleton punch the air in victory, clearly having beaten himself.... again!

Just as Valkyrie could feel herself nodding off, she was jolted awake by the sound of a door opening. 

"A sleepover? Why weren't we invited? Not cool guys, not cool!" Vex pouted, before catching Valkyrie's eyes and grinning at her. "Hey beautiful, did you miss me?"
Valkyrie stood up and threw herself at him, lacing her hands behind his neck and crushing her lips to his.

A cry of "Take that you scoundrel!" caused the two to break apart. They turned to see Skulduggery finish marking an X on the page he was using, and both fell into a fit of laughter.

"What have you done? You've created a monster!" Saracen said with a serious expression, looking from Skulduggery to Ghastly, before himself smiling and pulling Ghastly into a hug. 

Skulduggery finally looked up and greeted the newcomers. "Oh, you're here! I challenge you both to a duel!"
Saracen and Dexter looked at each other, eyebrows raised. 
"You shall be naughts and I'll be crosses, arm yourself!" Skulduggery says as he throws a pen at Saracen. 

Dexter turns back to Valkyrie and gently tucks a loose piece of hair behind her ear and kisses her softly. Valkyrie's eyes shut on impulse an she leans into him, taking in his scent and warmth of his chest. 
"I've missed you!" she whispers to him. 
Dexter pulls away, and rests his forehead on hers. 
"I've missed you too," he replies, "but you know what they say, distance makes the heart grow fonder!"

"That it does."  An all too familiar drawl replies. They all freeze before turning to stare at the doorway. Sanguine stands with his blade at Fletcher's throat. With his free hand he salutes to the room, grinning, before disappearing into the ground. Taking Fletcher with him.