5SOS Shorts (blurbs and smuts)

Sad Blurb (Luke)

"Y/N are you okay?" Luke asked softly, grabbing your wrist lightly and stopping you mid step. You wanted out, you needed fresh air. The walls felt too close and your chest screamed in pain for a refreshing breath. Your mind swirled while your heart was racing and pumping out of your chest almost. His face was a quick flash, something you couldn't look at long without wanting to bawl in his arms and completely break down.

"I'm- I'm fine please just let me go." You whisper, tugging from his grip. His hand loosened from you, giving you the few seconds to flee to the door and down the hall. Everything hurt. Everything felt like knives in your head and your chest. The good words people said about you, the goodness you felt about yourself. It's was completely and utterly hurtful.

You wanted to scream and cry, but you knew you couldn't. So you kept running, pushing open doors and following the exit signs. You were getting closer and close to that breath of air. It felt like you were drowning, swallowing water as you inhaled for those tiny air bubbles. Your chest was locked up and unrelentingly blocking out all your inhales as you struggled and slammed onto the last exit door.

You snatch at the handle and pull with all your might, slipping outside onto the hard and unforgiving pavement. It was bright, too bright for your liking. You struggled to go to the grass, too busy on trying to breathe in. It hurt, your mind was killing you and your body was letting it happen. The only reasonable part of your body was your arms, wrapping around yourself as your legs mindlessly took you to the grass near the corner of the building.

You sat, staring at the grass blades flowing and shaking from the soft breezes, dancing for you as you contently watched. They were hypnotizing, waving at you with their little bodies almost. Calming. Very very calming.

Your arms slowly began to let go of yourself, your mind subconsciously returning to its normal breathing pattern. Your aches retreating back to that box labeled 'anxiety' and waiting for that next crank up that'll spring all of them out again.

"What's wrong love?" Luke's voice rang out behind you, so sweetly but concern laced his voice. Your heart heaved as you thought of every bad thing again, but smeared a smile on your face when you saw him.

"I just needed a break, felt a little claustrophobic ya know?" You lied through your teeth and you couldn't help it. He cared so much but you couldn't tell him. You couldn't express to him what you felt. He's been in the same position, and he's beat it himself. You couldn't remind him of it.

"I know how that feels," he laughed, sitting beside you and taking your hand, "but, I don't think these are agreeing with you Y/N." His finger pokes your chest and your temple, before his hand grabs yours and squeezes it. "I've never seen someone calm down from claustrophobia by watching blades of grass shuffle."

You smile, your mind telling you to keep it up. Your bottom lip trembles, tears clawing at your water line and your nose turning a bit pink. Your smile grew as Luke squeezed you hand, pulling you into his arms. "Y/N..." he whispers, twirling your hair around his finger and kissing the top of your head.

'Bite your lip, don't you fucking cry.' Your brain barks, and you do as it says. You don't cry, you don't hurt, you don't remind Luke of it. You remind no one of their past. Not Michael, not Luke, not Calum, not Ashton. They beat it.

Your eyes failed, three tears spilling out before you shut down. The sadness and happiness, the tears and the smiles and any form of emotion you can show, gone. "I think I'm okay Luke." You say sympathetically, pulling away from his hold and walking down the pavement.

You didn't need to tear him down to rebuild yourself.