Care for me(Namjin×yoonmin)

Why Can't I?

Jimin pov

I sit on my bottom bunk while doing my homework. I try to block out the loud screaming coming from my foster parents in the next room, but the sound is deafening.

Jin makes the top bunk shake as he switches positions. He sighs and looks over the edge. "You okay down there?"

"Oh yeah, I'm just finishing up a little work." I reassure.

"Okay." His head disappears again.

There's a moment of silence between us before I break the ice, "I think their fighting has gotten worse."

Jin clears his throat, "If that's even possible." He mumbles.

Then, the sound of something hitting our door makes both of us stiffen. No one moves for a minute until groaning is heard from the other side of the door.

Jin begins to get out of his bed and climbs down the latter. "Don't move."

And I don't. I'm too busy shaking like a leaf, too frightened as he slowly creeps toward the door. I try to calm myself down, but any time I feel like my life is in danger I can't help but shake.

I can't forget all the times where I wasn't so lucky. When Jin wasn't around. I push the thoughts to the back of my mind and watch as he opens the door.

My eyes widen as I see Mr.Seon standing over his wife with a face full of fury. Her small stick form is curled into a ball by Jin's feet in pain and I have to hold back my throw up that threatens to come.

When Mr.Seon advances forward Jin confronts him. "It's not worth it." He speaks, but he isn't having it.

"Move out the way before you're in her position." He spits, making Jin flinch.

"Please, just let her go." He pleads with a dry voice. I look away because I can't stand to see him always trying to make things better. Always trying to fix things while I just sit back and wait for it to be over.

Mr.Seon grabs Mrs.Seon by her shirt and pulls her to her feet. They dangle off the floor as he chokes her with her own clothes. The sound of her choking and gasping for air has my stomach turning and my eyes pricking with tears.

Jin shouts for him to stop as her legs begin to frail around as she struggles for him to release her. When everything seems hopeless, Jin throws himself between the two making Mrs.Seon fall to the floor with a loud thump.

She takes in air by the mouth full and has a coughing fit as she grips her throat. When Mr.Seon runs to attack again. Jin yells for her to leave and helps her get off the floor. With what little strength she has, she runs out the front door.

Now, Mr.Seon is boiling over in anger and his attention is directed at Jin. His fist connect with Jin's chest making him trip over his feet and fall into the doorway. When Mr.Seon grabs the closest thing to him which happens to be a lamp; I feel my heart jump into my throat.

No...no...no

You have to do something!

But my hands won't stop shaking! It's Jin who gets to his feet in time and slams the door and locks it before anything worse can happen.

He lets out a shaky breath and grips his chest from where he got hit. It's only then that I run over to him.

"Jin are you okay?" I ask frantically right when the lamp hits our door at full force and we hear the bulb shattering.

Jin nods his head as he sits on my bunk. " Yeah, how are you?"

I give him my best smile that I can muster so that he doesn't worry over me. I want to laugh at the situation. He's the one that got hurt, but he's only worried about my well being.

"Are you sure you're okay? You seemed a little shaken up earlier." He pesters.

"I'm fine." I give him a thumbs up and add, "Stop worrying about me. I'm capable of handling myself."

Lies...

If I was by myself I probably would have watched Mrs.Seon die today. I shake the thought from my head and tell Jin that I'm going to take a nap.

He nods his head and goes back to his bed. I exhale and snuggle closer to my pillow and chant in my head.

Tomorrow will be better.

Tomorrow will be better.

Tomorrow will be better.

And then I sleep.

***
Jin pov

My eyes are hollow as I let the scene play out in my head. The dangling of feet...the struggling for air...the punch. This is all too familiar and I feel nothing. It's just another day.

I sink into my pillow and let my heavy eyes shut. At least Jimin is safe. As long as he's safe... I can keep going. As long as he stays smiling.

Then I can forgive myself.

***
"Nice seeing you so early in the morning." Namjoon says as he walks next to me in the hallway. I just finished dropping Jimin to his homeroom.

I made sure we were out the house before Mr.Seon woke up to get ready for work. It was deathly cold out when we got here before the sun rose and waited for administration to open the doors, but I don't tell Namjoon that.

"Yeah, just decided to get here early today. How about you?" I answer too worn out from yesterday to give a snarky comeback.

"Well, I'm getting everything ready for our winter festival. You should come out. You know final preparations and everything. That's what Jungkook and I have been working on with the rest of the school board."

I nod my head in understanding. "That seems like fun," and I actually mean it.

"You should come out. There will be games and prizes." Namjoon wiggles his eyebrows.

"Are you sure you're not just saying this to get in my pants?" I joke and laugh when his face turns beat red.

"No, I promise I was really just trying to be friendly."

"I'm joking, but I won't be able to come." I explain, making Namjoon frown.

"I think all the time I've known you, You have never come to an event. You should get out more." He pushes me slightly to the side and I shrug.

"What can I say? I like studying too much." We both know I'm lying because really- who likes to study?

"I like this side to you. You should show it more often. You seem less tense today."

His words make my chest seize up and then I remember my rule. I can't allow myself to be happy. I can't allow myself to feel "less tense". I don't deserve it.

"I'm sorry, I have to go."

"Wait, was it something I said!" Namjoon yells down the hall.

I don't bother responding as I run away from the possibility of happiness. Of joy and of letting myself forget about what I've done.

What I did...

A/N oh the mystery. I love this story so much. Let me know what you all thought of it in the comments. Don't forget to like,share and add to your reading list. Until next time my Burritos, deuces!