Rant's of a Mormon High-schooler

May the Fourth be With You

I remember growing up with the prequels (as bad as they were, I still loved them as a kid) I always wanted to be a Jedi master like Mace Windu and Yoda. In-fact, much of my my childhood friendships were built off of this love of Star Wars, as we would go to the park with our plastic light sabers and train to become Jedi-Knights.  It was tons of fun. Star Wars can be thanked for much of my favorite Memories and friendships. Whether it be Lego Star Wars or BattleFront II, It always seemed to find a way into my life. And finally when I thought I could let Star Wars be a relic of my childhood, Disney picked it up for an estimated $4 Billion. And I, the nerdy fanboy that I am, instantly jumped into the hype-train that is Episode VII. Anyways, I thought today would be perfect for writing my thoughts on people who hate Episode VII. Now this may not relate to you at all, and in that case, do not fear! I have another rant coming on Monday! You can just go ahead and skip this one. Well, lets dive on in!

There I was, the Tuesday after Winter break, at my school lunch table. A group of girls sat opposite of my friends, who sat eating as I geek-ed out to my bros about how epic the new movie was. and opposite me was a girl. A fowl girl. The scum of the earth. A Prequel lover. The kind of person that gave 5/5 to every prequel just for the sake of being different. (Which trust me, this is perfectly fine. Just make sure you actually know what you're talking about before you spout random nonsensical comments like 'I thought little Ani was cute!' or 'Jar-Jar is my favorite character'.)

So there she was. sipping on a capri-sun, smugly. I could tell she was about to start a flame war at the table just by the twinkle in her eyes. And before I could stop her, she let loose.

Scum-bag: "The Force Awakens is just a knock off of the original."

And with that, the entire lunch room went silent. (That might be an exaggeration, but it felt like it.) And everyone at the table turned to me, as if awaiting a response from the master of canon himself. yours truly. But truth was, I had nothing. I was caught off guard so completely by this unfair, untrue comment that I was actually shocked into silence. I thought that everyone agreed that episode VII was a masterpiece and that J J Abrams so beautifully crafted, that even the thought that someone could find a single critique confused me.

And so I stuttered out: "But Rey is awesome." 

And scum bag replied with: "Nah, shes a Mary Sue,"

Me: "What about Finn?"

Scumbag: "A character made to appeal to minorities."

Me: "Poe? Kylo? Hux? Maz? Unkar Plutt?"

Scumbag: "All just there to sell toys."

Me: "Han and Chewie?" 

Scumbag: "Yeah shoe-horn in everyone's favorite character. Just an uninspired ploy to get more of an audience interested." 

Me: "I literally hate you." (Okay maybe I didn't say that. But I felt it. She left before things got violent, thankfully.)

But given time to recover from these remark's, and re-watching the film several times, (Official count: 9 re-watches) I have officially come up with a simple answer: She's a person looking to break the social norm for attention and upon further research these are all comments similar hipsters such as herself had made all over the internet. Before Episode Seven, I had never even heard the term "Mary Sue". But every hipster has filled the internet with the stupid phrase that I wouldn't be surprised if even my Dog (Who ironically is named Leia) knew what a Mary Sue is. 

Point is, Don't just go against the popular choice because its popular. Do it because you actually believe it. If you want to say that The Phantom Menace is the best darned movie to grace humanity since Ol' Georgey laid down the Special editions, sing it from the hill tops and I will respect your opinion. But please, PLEASE mean it. Because nothing is more annoying than poser. especially hipster posers. 

I hope you guys enjoyed my little outburst, just had to get that out of my system on my favorite third party holiday. I will be back on Monday with a Prom rant, so i'm looking forward to that. Later guys!