Lindsey Buckingham was supposed to be married to Stevie Nicks.
This was not a wish, it was a fact.
He was supposed to be working a nine to five job and they were supposed to have two point five children by now and, most importantly, they were supposed to be happy.
He was not sure whether fate had intervened, or if they had chosen the wrong path.
They had talked about it, once, in the beginning. He had asked her if this life was meant to be theirs.
She kissed him and said, "this is where destiny brought us."
She seemed so sure that it made him believe, too.
All of that came crashing down when she left him. She was never supposed to leave. That was not fate or destiny or any of those ridiculous things she said it was when they were crying and screaming and she was telling him it was over.
He would not, could not, believe that she had been correct. He was not supposed to have a girlfriend. She was not supposed to be killing herself slowly and he certainly was not fated to watch her die.
No, no...they had chosen the wrong life.
They should have chosen respectable and safe careers in the suburbs where they could watch their children play in the yard and they could grow old together and why? Why couldn't it be like that? Why couldn't they go back and rewrite history? Why did it have to be too late to change things now?
He didn't have the words or the will or even the heart to tell her that all he wanted was to leave this fucking life and go back to the one they were meant to have.
Where was his girl? Where was the man he used to be? The man who cared for her with everything he had and would never, ever, ever hurt her?
Where was all of that?
How did they get so lost?
How did he get stuck in this life? He did not want this life where he had to clean the crimson from her nose and she would ask for help but never take it.
He was not meant to harbor these feelings of hate and anger towards her in his heart. He wanted to go back; back to a different time.
He wanted to go back to summer days where she would steal the keys to her brother's convertible and they would drive down the highway and God, she would be so beautiful with her hair blowing in the wind and her sunglasses on and her feet on the dashboard and he would ask her to marry him without ever stopping the car or having a ring and she would say yes a million times.
That was the life they were supposed to have and the life he wanted to go back to.
That was who he wanted them to be.
That was what destiny and fate had wanted for them and they were the only thing that intervened. They could have had that life and they stood in their own way. It was as sad and tragic as they were.
They should have gone home.
Los Angeles was not the city of angels. It was the place where love and people went to die and fade away before you could grab on to them and hold them close and just go home.
He would give it all back. He wanted to give it all back. He wanted to take her hand and take her away. She would not let him because it was too late. His angel was gone when they set foot in that terrible, awful place too. Another angel gone; eaten up by the promise of fame and fortune. Another angel that won't make it home.
Yes, Lindsey Buckingham was supposed to be married to Stevie Nicks.
But he was not.
And he never would be.
They were just another love that came to die in the city of angels.
