Thoughts raced through Stevie's mind at an incredible pace. So incredible, in fact, that she had torn her hotel room apart seeking the drugs she knew would not be there.
Why was she having this child?
How was she going to tell the band?
Fuck. How was she going to tell her parents?
When would he break up with his girlfriend?
Would he break up with her at all?
Was this baby a mistake?
The questions swirled around her mind with no clear answers. She wanted to pull her hair out. She wanted to drown out her thoughts.
Her skin was crawling and she was pacing back and forth towards the door.
Her own private dealer was only two rooms away.
No.
No.
She had a life, a baby, her baby growing inside of her. She would not do that to an innocent little miracle.
She could be better than that.
She was better than that.
Despite the words he would throw at her about how awful she was and how she was nothing, she knew she was something. She knew she was better than whatever horrible things he thought about her.
She only peeked out the door when he knocked. He kindly asked her to come inside, and although she was embarrassed of the mess, she let him.
He'd called her a tornado once.
When she looked around the room, she knew he had been right.
"She's gone," were the first words out of his mouth and the only words she needed to hear.
She didn't need to speak to get him to follow her to the bed, where they lie facing each other.
"Why?"
"She's not you."
"You mean she's not having your child."
"No, I mean she's not you."
"You hate me."
"I hate the things you do."
"I can be good. For you; for all of us."
"Be good for yourself first."
"I was dying."
"I would have followed you to the grave."
She cried because she knew it was true. In their twisted, horrid, achingly beautiful relationship, one could not survive without the other. That was not what the universe had intended for them.
Lindsey and Stevie were two parts of a whole.
Even their broken pieces fit together like a puzzle.
Except, perhaps, there had always been one missing piece.
Maybe this time they'd finally be able to put it all into place.
I think...this might be the best place to end this story. I know, I know; you probably all wanted to see them be happy and have their baby and be a family. I don't think that would fit the tone created in this one. This chapter serves as a fresh start for them.
I'll be back soon enough, if you want me. I was thinking about tackling the Mirage era because it seems so mysterious to me. We'll see if I can get the creative juices flowing for that one.
Love to all of you. Thanks for reading, thanks for the compliments, and most of all, thank you for the encouragement!
