truce // josh dun

1 - realizations

"tyler, baby, everything is going to be fine. your parents and the rest of the family said they're going to visit tomorrow morning okay?" jenna reasoned while sympathetically caressing her husband's face that was full of fear and vulnerability. "josh and i will be here during the afternoon visitations. we just don't want to overwhelm you okay?"

tyler looked to his best friend with a foggy look in his eyes, desperate to come up with an excuse that he didn't need visitors. his need to be alone was always stronger than his want to get better. he looked down at his laceless shoes. just hours ago one of the doctor's had explained to him that a few years prior a patient took their own life by hanging themselves with it. he continued telling tyler that the more progress he makes will allow him to have certain privileges like having shoelaces or being able to choose a board game on social skills night, which he was already starting to dread.

he reminded himself that he was the one who asked for help and he was fortunate enough to have the support and resources to get better. he needs to get better for his wife, his family, his friends, and his fans. what tyler forgot to remind himself was that he deserves to get better for himself. with his new found motivation tyler looked back up at his wife and best friend. "alright that sounds good honey" while assuring jenna with a kiss and a long, bone-crushing hug. he looked to josh as he opened his tattooed arms inviting him to a hug full of love and support.

"i'm here for you tyler. i always will be. you're my brother and i absolutely despise seeing you in so much pain. i love you." josh sniffed as he became misty eyed. the amount of pain josh has seen his bandmate in the last few years was excruciating. touring affected tyler the most. he could never understand how he could save so many lives through his lyrics when he was barely hanging on himself. tyler perceived himself as a hypocrite. he would tell everyone to stay alive because he knew they had a chance at changing the world and being happy with their lives. but he has never allowed himself to accept he was someone who changed the world, by keeping those same people alive.

"i love you too josh." tyler muttered back. "i think i'm gonna go get situated, i love both of you, see you tomorrow"

tyler turned around and started to attempt to recollect his room number. he reminded himself it was his birthday, room 121. while turning down the hallway with a sign saying rooms 110s-130s, he knew he had to get better. it was when everyone around him was vulnerable he recognized that they deeply cared about him. he has to stay alive for them, no matter how hard it might be. 

490 words.

a/n: woah, an actual update.