Why is it that when I want something the most the only thing stopping me from getting it is myself. I am afraid that if I get this "object" that the outcome will only disappoint me. And on top of that I don't need a friend who can help me get one step closer to the goal and overcoming my fear of the outcome, but he/she decides not to because he/she wants me to have a harder time achieving this goal. But I know he/she wants this same goal as me and we have talked about it, but I think that that is why he/she won't help me, because I'm just competition. And this "object" is only obtainable to one person, so now I would also feel bad to take it from him/her when he/she wants it as well. But maybe I will find the guts to obtain it, but at the same time hurt my friend emotionally, or I will just sit in silence as I watch it slip through my hands because I didn't step up.
