*****
"GERMANY?!"
I can't help but scream. Just the thought of her fleeing the country, and moving a thousand miles away depresses me.
"You know I've always wanted to become a painter. You knew that even before we had a relationship!"
"Yes, but I've always thought you'd find a program just as selective here!"
A few days ago, the biggest fight we had was about who gets the last piece of cheesecake, and now, we're fighting about something that could possibly end our relationship.
Sadie's eyes were bloodshot, her shoulders tensed. "Why are you forbidding me from chasing my dreams?"
"I'm not forbidding you, Sadie. I'm just reminding you that you have a WEDDING in 5 months, and that I would be there waiting for you to walk down the aisle!"
"I know that! But I'm also reminding you that this has been my life-long dream. I'm not asking you to postpone the wedding, --", she took a long, deep breath, "all I'm asking is for you to support me!"
My lips were trembling so violently that I found it hard to speak. "I want to but I can't, Sadie. I can't."
"Why not?!" Silence. I can't even find the right words to her question. "Answer me, Carter!"
"Because I'm AFRAID! I'm afraid that if you go there, you'd meet someone else. I'm afraid that if you get hold of your dreams, you'll realize that I don't fit in your life. I'm afraid --", I was sobbing now, for every ounce of fight I have left, "that 5 months becomes forever!"
Moments passed and we just stood there, thinking deeply of what comes next. Don't get me wrong, I want to help and support Sadie throughout all this. I know she wants this more than anything. But we still have a wedding, a day we've planned and waited for almost 6 months, a day to look forward to. Now, I'm starting to wonder if this wedding had really been a dream of hers, or if it had only been a dream of mine.
I was the one who broke the silence.
"If you can't promise me that these things won't happen, then it's better if we call off the wedding and break up now. Sadie, I'm not waiting 5 months for a wedding that's not going to happen, and for a bride that's not going to come."
She didn't answer.
"Promise me, Sadie." I've lost all the force in my voice that it sounded like a beg.
Her mouth opened, motioned to speak, but no words came out.
"PROMISE ME!" I put everything in those two words; all our hopes, our dreams, our relationship and our future.
"I CAN'T, okay! I can't promise you those things! I want to discover the things I could still do. I want to see a whole new world."
I blinked at her, taken aback by all that she said. "Even if you meet someone along the way?"
"I'm sorry, Carter. I can't promise those things. I just can't." She didn't respond to my question, but the message was clear enough.
It felt as if my mind was slammed on a headboard, my heart crippled and burned. A little part inside of me knew it was coming, but the greater part hoped it didn't.
My mind acted against my heart. With all the strength I have left, I fought this urge. I love Sadie, I remind myself. I love her.
But in the end, it was my mind who got the last say.
"Then I guess it's not meant to be."
*****
YOU ARE READING
The Spoon
RomanceFIVE MONTHS. Carter and Sadie were five months away from their wedding. Madly in love, they were caught up in the idea of a perfect marriage. But five months before their big day, Sadie is offered a painting job in Germany, a thousand miles away fr...
