The Spoon

PART 5: SURCEASE

*****

The world suddenly stood still. The people chatting in the room, the low rumble of cars, the music beating around suddenly came to a stop. My eyes zoomed into focus, and she was the only thing I could see, the only thing that mattered.

News came out like wildfire, saying that Sadie Mitchell would be in town for an exhibit. She already made her dream come true. All of these people are here, anxious to see and admire her work.

She still looked the same. Her skin as white as ivory, her hair a dark shade of brown. Her gray eyes still had in them the same fire of determination, the same desire for perfection. But there was something in her eyes too, that seemed different. Longing. I had it in my eyes too. I was longing for her, missing her every move. I wanted badly to hear her voice, to hear her say my name.

We were at a standstill. We just studied each other, finding each other, hoping that there is still a spark of what we had.

She walked forward, as everything came back into motion. Without even thinking about it, I felt my own feet move forward too. This is it, I tell myself. She wants me, as much as I want her.

But a few feet away, her soft expression turned into a sorrowful glare. "What are you doing here?", she finally said.

"I came here for you.", I answered. There was an awkward silence, a long pause.

"You did it." I said as I looked at all the paintings in the room, each signed with her name at the bottom. "You finally reached your life-long dream."

"Yeah", she said while looking down.

"Are you happy?"

"Of course. Look at all this, I never imagined that--" I cut her off.

"That's not what I meant." I could feel tears building up again. I tried my best and willed them to stop.

"Y-yes. I am." She looked up now, and only then did I realize something different about her. I looked at her hand, and on the fourth finger was a ring. At first, I thought it was our engagement ring. But studying it further, I realized it was different. As if on cue, a man walked up to her from behind.

"Sadie, are you okay? Who's this?", the man asked.

"I'm fine. This is uh- my friend." The word 'friend' was like a bullet aimed straight to my heart. Quickly, I looked away to hide the pain visible in my face. "Could you give us a minute?", Sadie said to her fiance. The man nodded and slowly walked away.

"Carter-"

"So you did meet a man along your journey to your life-long dream.", I said, adding emphasis to the words 'life-long dream'.

"Carter, listen to me. You fell in love with me back in college, 6 years ago."

"What's wrong with that?"

"The girl you fell in love with is gone. We still want different things, Carter. I want to follow my dreams, and you want to get married."

"We could make it work! We could-" I was fighting again, with all the fight I have in me. I can't lose her again.

"Carter, you're giving me that look again, like you're trying to say 'Hey, let's get married and have two kids!' It's a great look, Carter. But--", she cleared her throat, "but you're looking at the wrong girl."

I couldn't say anything, because I honestly think there's nothing left to say. I'm hurt, not because she's turning me down again, but because deep inside, I know that she's telling the truth.

"How many times do you want to see this crash and burn?", she continued. "You said it yourself. We're not meant to be, and it never will be." She was crying herself, almost choking her words out. "You're a great guy, Carter. You really are."

She drew me in for a hug, and a part of me was still hoping that this hug meant something. But the greater part knew, that this hug meant nothing but goodbye. I tried to remember this moment. The way everybody walked past us, the way others stared in wonder. I tried to remember Sadie, the way her hair smelled like almonds, the way her body fit into mine.

I opened my eyes, and saw for the first time, the biggest exhibit on the far wall. The brown and gold walls, the mirrors, the flowers blooming on every corner: it was The Spoon. On a table sat a girl and a boy smiling, their eyes gleamed of happiness and love.

It was a painting of our first anniversary.

When she drew back, she took my arm and slid something in it. I felt something cold, something fragile in the tips of my fingers.

"Goodbye, Carter", she said for the last time.

I opened my hand and saw the beautifully bevelled rock, carefully placed on top of a circular metal, our names engraved on both sides. She gave back our engagement ring. I looked up, at all the people walking past, at all the paintings featured, and at Sadie slowly walking away.

"Goodbye, Sadie."

*****