When the World Ends

Red

She loved the color red. Walking south, we'd pass many stores, and she'd always grab the red stuff first. Clothing, shoes, hair ribbons, bags, anything.

I asked her about it, just once.

Why do you like the color red?

It reminds me of someone.

It's bright. People will see us coming from miles away. Can't you wear colors that will blend in?

No.  I like red. It reminds me of someone.

And so I let her wear her red and didn't ask her about it anymore.

A few days after that discussion, we came across an old gas station. She wanted to go inside and search for food. I told her to wait outside, and I took the gun and walked off before she could protest.

I shouldered open the door, creeping down behind a now-empty aisle labelled CANDY. I took a deep breath. I called out, "Anyone here?"

No answer.

I slowly stepped out, and called out again. No answer.

I walked around the store, gun out, and checked behind every aisle and every door, every counter. Nothing.

The coast was clear.

I looked for water first. Water was important--there would be no drinking from the now-gray rivers and lakes.

I found none, so I began to scour the aisles for cans of food, bags of chips, anything, really. We only had a bag of pretzels and a few cans of fruit left in our bags. I came across two two-liter bottles of soda, and I scooped them up and put them in my bag.

I put the now less-empty bag on my back after I've scrounged up all that the place had to offer: two cans of corn, a bag of chip, some cookies, and four cans of fruit cocktail. I wanted to search for more, but I knew that there was nothing here except for what I had found.

Then she screamed my name.

I was outside in what must have been seconds but felt like hours. She was on the ground, eyes squeezed shut, gun against her head.

And I said, "Stop."
And the man who held the gun to her head looked at me and said something explicit. But it wasn't to me. It was about Robin.

I told him no. He offered to trade food, to trade water.

There's no women no more. Can't hire none. But I'm will in' ta compensate, what'd'ya think boy?

Go to hell.

You're in no place ta bargain.

He motioned to the gun. Robin's eyes opened, and she waited.

I told you, no.

I'll kill her.

Then you wouldn't get what you wanted.

I can make her suffer, though. You too.

I have a gun.

I still had my gun pointed at him as I said that. But he had his gun on Robin.

And then he pulled out a knife.

I'll cut her.

I'll shoot you.

I'll shoot her.

And we were at a standoff.

Until he suddenly pulled the gun up and fired at me. And I saw the craziness in his eyes, the animal that he had turned into, and I did not doubt for a second that he would do as he intended.

But the bullet missed, and I was on the ground, and I jumped back up to my feet and I shot him twice, the arm, the kneecap. And he screamed, howling in pain, and charged at me. I was caught off guard.

He tackled me, I fell to the ground. He now only had his knife. I didn't look to see where his gun had went. He was swinging at me, slashing the air by my face with the knife.

Then a gun fired, and the man howled again. He dropped the knife. He clutched his leg. I hear the clicking of an empty chamber, and I knew that she'd run out of bullets.

I looked for my gun, but I didn't see it. I didn't have time to look, either. So I took the knife, and I did what I had to do, and I hope to God that he forgives me for what I did that day, in that moment.

He was going to rape her. And I was so, so angry, so hateful. I cut him. First the fingers, one by one, his screaming, his agony echoing through my ears. I called him names. Then his right ear. Blood everywhere. The man was crying.

Then a gunshot, and his head exploded, and blood shot up at me and everywhere else from the mess I'd made and I knew she'd found my gun.

What had I done?

She was shaking, but there were no tears from her. They were from me, all from me, from the atrocity I had committed. Blood was everywhere. My clothes were stained dark red. The man's face was a mangled, cut-up mess. Had I done that, too?

Keane, I want to go now.

Robin, Robin, oh God, oh my God, What have I done?

Let's go now, Keane.

I can't...What have I done?

She had bent down and held my hand and let me cry on her shoulder. And after I had finished, I had stood and transferred my items from my bag to hers. And I threw my bag off to the side, and then I threw my clothes off to the side and changed so I wouldn't have to see the blood anymore.

She said nothing.

And we left.

She used to love the color red.