Eye of the Storm (Swaragini FF)

Chapter 4

They say that if you desire something with all your heart, universe conspires to make it happen. In Sanskar's case, he had a weird relation with god in this aspect. God was quick in gracing his wishes that meant heartache for him and the ones that meant contentment for him got dropped off. As luck would have it, there has been some interesting opportunities - opportunities that could help him spread his wings beyond the initial confines. While a large part of him was happy for what it meant for the business that he had build all by himself, he couldn't help but wonder if this was a harbinger of things to come – a signal of their impeding separation. What had started out as a deliberate distancing from Swara, had soon become involuntary because he needed to act quickly to make these opportunities into reality and he had, in the past two weeks, been busy doing just that.

To say that he didn't miss Swara while he has been busy with work, would still have been a lie. How can you not miss the one person who occupied your every breath – the one person whose name echoed in your every thought. He had to make deliberate effort to ensure his thoughts didn't stray towards her too much and he got the work done.

His thoughts of her varied from the mundane to worrying if Swara would be okay with Lucky. A couple of days into it, he had taken a bold step. He has hired a security cover for Swara. His instructions to the agency had been clear. He didn't want to have any updates or know what she was doing or with whom. No one was to stop her from doing anything or going anywhere. They were not to even let her know that she was being watched. The only time they were to step in was if they felt she was in danger. He didn't trust Ragini when it come to Swara. He could have given her one more chance if he was concerned and taken the risk that came with it – his penance was what he had pushed her into – but he could not take the risk with Swara. Equally he knew that his brother was impulsive. Without meaning to, he could manhandle Swara in desperation or anger and he couldn't bear that thought.

At home, Sanskar continued to spend limited but quality time with Swara. It was impossible not to – not just because he wanted to spend some time with her before he parted way for good – but also because she seemed keen to spend time with her "friend". That word would be the bane of his existence, but for now, he would take even that because what ultimately faced him was loneliness where he knew that all he would have would be memories of this time that he spent with her.

About two days into Sanskar's new routine, Swara days too started reflecting the different pattern. She too had started waking up earlier and coming down in time to spend some time with him as he grabbed some breakfast. He hadn't expected it in the least, but secretly, he had been happy for the effort she had put in for him. A part of him had wondered if he should skip breakfast to avoid spending more time with her and stick to his promise, but try as he may, he couldn't bring it up to himself to say no to her when she was all ready to serve him breakfast every day he stepped into the hall.

To Swara, Sanskar seemed completely engrossed in work and it worried her – worried that if allowed, he would work from dawn till dusk without any bite of food. He was driven – of course what she didn't know was that the Sanskar who was earlier driven by pain, betrayal and anger was today driven by love – one that he was sure wasn't his to have and to hold. She has then taken it upon herself to ensure that he didn't get carried away so much that he forgot to take care of himself. That was the reason that she would also now call Kunal around lunch time to make him ensure that Sanskar was having his lunch on time.

If things weren't changing on Sanskar front, Laksh and Ragini were finding more and more opportunities for Swara to spend time with Laksh every single day. With each discussion, Swara's presence however was declining. She has been answering him in monosyllabic answers. Even when he tried to probe more, her words were restricted as were her reactions. Her heart was clearly not in these charades and forced friendships and she was making it clear to them in her own way. The truth was that she didn't hate either of them and given time, without force, she wouldn't have minded being friends with Laksh again – he was after all her friend once and now her sister's husband. She didn't want to sour the relationship – but this forced friendship was a bit too much even for her. What she was thankful for though, was that Laksh had at least not tried to manhandle her or touch her anymore. But even then, she could wait for these meetings to get over – each day.

Swara's life over the next two weeks followed this very different but predictable pattern. She also tried to spend as much time with the other family members as possible, but before late evening – because that was the time Sanskar returned. With him being so busy, he only had so much time at home and she wanted to ensure that she spent at least some time with her best friend every day. With this aim, she had taken to waiting for him to return around 7pm, which was now the time he usually got home. She would by then already keep his home clothes ready for him to freshen up and while he did that, she would get him tea so that they could sit together in the guest room/his room to discuss how the day went.

She really looked forward to their discussion every day. Talking to Sanskar took all her weariness away and made her feel refreshed. Talking to him was almost like ambrosia for her tired soul. She had a storm brewing in her head for some time now – thoughts, desires, feelings, expectations everyone had from her were like turbulent winds that were swirling in her head with full force threating and in most cases overwhelming her. It was at these times when she felt that she couldn't even hear the thoughts of her own heart and mind. Sanskar had been her strength at these times. He would help her get hold of one of the turbulent string of thought blowing in her mind and help her unravel it a bit more, understand it a bit more so that she could calm it down for good. While he hadn't calmed the storm yet, she knew he would help her to do it one day.

They had just been settling into this new routine, and Swara was getting used to this concentrated but limited time with Sanskar, when Sanskar informed her that he would need to travel to Europe to finally meet some of the companies that could potentially become his partners. Swara has been happy for him, but at the same time, felt some thing pinch at her heart at the thought of him being away. That pinch become more pronounced when she found out that he would be gone for at least two weeks.

On the first day he landed in London, it had been fairly late in the night even in London time. He had called the family to let them know he reached. Bade papa had spoken to him and conveyed his words to everyone - they stayed awake to hear that he had reached safety. His mom had spoken to him and mentioned that he sounded tired. She didn't know what was said, but knew that mom had asked him to rest and kept the phone. She felt an odd pang not being able to also talk to him. On reaching her room, she had debated it for a few minutes if she should disturb him now when he was tired, but in the end, her worry about his health had made her call him. They had only been able to talk for a few minutes - he had told her that he was okay though a bit tired because of the long journey – but she felt better having heard his voice.

The reality of their limited call times was some thing that she was aware of even before he flew away. She knew that they would probably be able to talk a couple of minutes when he woke up (her afternoon) and for a few minutes when he returned from his meetings (which would be too late in the day her time). But she had been prepared to stay awake to talk to him for those few minutes to find out how things went – and she had let him know that before he flew. That was partly the reason why she had stayed awake till 3am in the morning, waiting for him to call her the very next day. Somewhere during the night, she had dozed off. When she woke up, she was hassled, worried that he had missed his call. She had been sleeping with the phone in her hand and scanned through it to see any calls from him. There were none, but there was a message at around 5am her time, telling her that he had just returned from a very late client dinner and didn't want to wake her up. She had almost called him, only to hold back last minute not wanting to mess his sleep. In the end, she had messaged him tell him it wouldn't matter what time he returned, he should call her all the same. She had also reiterated it to him when they spoke that morning.

During the next couple of days, as she spent lesser time with Sanskar, she had taken to spending her evenings in her room, trying to recreate their discussions and trying to solve the strings of thought floating in her mind. She would try to ponder over what Sanskar would say in each case. It was at this time that she realized that Sanskar had become the voice in her head. He had become the voice of her conscience.