S H A T T E R E D

Its her.

I take bandaid after bandaid applying them to my cuts. I admit it's quite strange to put bandaids on cuts from my suicidal thoughts, but I cut deeper than I should've and they hurt more than I had planned.

About 20 minutes later I am only half way done. I never thought putting on bandaids would be this hard, then again I'm only using one hand. When I'm done I stretch my back and neck because I've been looking down this whole time.

I grab my phone and check the time. It's a quarter to 8. 7:45. Already? It feels like just ten minutes ago I was with Harry getting coffee.

Wait, I wasn't with Harry was I? No of course not we were just both there. And he payed for my drink, my thoughts add. That was actually really nice of him and his smile appears in my head. A smile flashes onto my face and I quickly snap out of my daydream.

How is it that I was just cutting myself, and just a thought of Harry can make me smile? I push Harry to the back of my mind when my obnoxious stomach growls at me.

I haven't eaten since lunch and I'm starving. I guess I didn't exactly think about food after everything today. There's been no sign of my mother all night so I assume she's asleep. I then decide not to put something on to cover my arms. She will most likely not get up. I hope. I walk to the kitchen and see a pot on the stove.

It turns out my mom did cook but didn't bother to inform me. What a bitch, pissed off or not I still have to eat. God, she couldn't have the courtesy to even tell me she made food?

Of course not, it's her. My eyes peak into the pot to find spaghetti. It's my moms favorite dish to make. I put some on a plate and get some water. I take my food to my room realizing I haven't warmed it up when I get there.

By then I don't care at all I'm hungry and exhausted so I eat quickly and go straight to bed.