I Hope You Find Someone Like Me...

Chapter III: Fear

Fear...

Fear?

Where does that come from?

What did I just see? Did he just fear me? 

Unequivocally, with not event a pint of doubt... *Chris... (a guy who is almost a foot taller than me) is afraid of me. 

He is afraid of me! Afraid? In what sense? As if I am a monster? A murderer? A thief? Ghost? Someone who significantly posts a threat? How could he have acquired that fear? 

Laughable, comic, it is. But at the same time, alarming.

Again, I am never a threat to anyone. To any woman, or child that I know. But to this guy, I was certainly worth fearing. 

Here is what happened:

INCIDENT # 1: Since the time I avoided looking at him, there were around two more instances *Chris and I randomly saw each other. Once was in the elevator.

I was talking with one of the staffs, named Sel, who is the secretary in one of the offices in the company. We were going to take the elevator going to the ground floor. The elevator opened and there... viola! Mystery guy. So it was not like I can glare at him or avoid his stare. I was laughing with my friend going to the elevator and we had been discussing something.

"Hahaha!" I was laughing, "You better be prepared once you have given birth!" She is 7 months pregnant, and excited to have her rest while taking care of her baby.

She laughed back. "I'm just worried a bit of what would happen to the works I'll be leaving for a while. Anyway, they better take care of their own." I was almost focused with the good laugh if not for the fact that he was looking at me. I wasn't imagining things! He was! However, it was not like he was happy. It was sort of he was ALARMED that I am in the same elevator as his. 

So I tried keeping it casual. Just continued with my non-stop talking and turned my back to him since I have to face the elevator door right? I never looked back. I would not want to get disappointed to find out if ever he's looking away.

So I never payed any attention with that elevator incident... until something happened, which made me recall things and have a deeper look.

INCIDENT # 2: This made me realized how "scary" I am.

I was walking with my friend Steve, laughing about random nothings. We were near the cafeteria. It was a cool morning, around 10:15 in the morning. We were wearing black shirts and jeans. I was wearing my hair down, but still wearing my glasses. I looked rather presentable. My friend, Steve, on the other hand was in his casual fashionable look. Even though he's a guy, I am completely embarassed since his skin was 3 times better than mine. He has glowing white skin and his face has it'spinkish blush. It was an ordinary day really. But!

THERE.

I saw him. He was 10-meters away from our distance. He was looking to his left, waving his hand to another coffee shop. 'Saying hi to some friends, I guess'. I said to myself. And then...

He was about to walk heading to our direction. And then, HE SAW ME. 

And when he did, he stoppped waving his hand, he stood straight in a stature that looked as if he's about to run. He clenched both of his hands and gave me a wide-eyed looked. Then he blinked for a while, look down on his feet, then headed straight to his left as fast as he can! With long strides, almost running.......

He was not supposed to go back there... I was sure he was saying goodbye! But by the sight of me, he saw something 'threatening' and headed back to the coffee shop with his friends to somehow save himself from an unexpected chaos. It would actually seem natural if he never looked at me like that. If he never had his eyes almost pop out of his head. It would somehow seem nothing if he walked towards the coffee shop naturally... But no! He looked as if he saw a gang of armed men straight to him, and walked fast as if fearing he would be caught.

WHAT???!!! I looked at my back. I was almost ready to hold Steve's hand and run for my life since there might be something just behind us, but there was nothing. No dinosaur, no armed terrorist, ghost, no UFO. Just me. Just me and my friend all happy with the world. Just random individuals walking along the breezy area. 

He never came out. I never saw him come out, till we passed by the cafeteria where he took his 'safe refuge'. He might have waited another hour inside to make sure he is safe to get out.

And now I confirm, he is terrified by my mere presence. 

So me and my friend Steve just continued walking into our building near the cafeteria. I have forgotten the issue as we entered the building due to some things. We just went inside, I looked on the pile of papers in my desk. Steve went to his post, he's newly employed. There, that was pretty much how I was 'informed' I am as scary as those in creepy Asian films.

*Chris, whoever you are, you certainly got nothing to fear from me. You are unimportant, you are 'unnoticed', and not worth any of my brain cells or even a piece of my contemplation. I, on the other hand, am not a sort of a possessed individual worth fearing. I am not a daughter of a terrorist. I am not a kidnapper who would abduct you for your organs... I mean kidneys and intestines. 

So come out, come out wherever you are.

Now there, I cannot promise I would not be irritated when (not if) I see him again.

I have tried telling this to my bosses, some of my friends and family. All I got was two same things:

1. A hilarious (almost insulting) laugh.

2. The line: "You scared him! Now, you will never get to know him for sure."

 Fine then. I am a fulfilled individual, despite my lack of direction and purpose. I am complete, despite the fact that I am in the middle of a still unresolved quarter-life crisis. So who cares? Do I? So what if I do no get to meet him? 

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Dear friends, can somebody please do explain what just happened?

Thank you.

*To be continued....