The Friendship Eclipse.

fading light.

I hate this feeling. This feeling like I have nobody, but in reality I've got loads of people. It's like there's so many people around me but It's like their not there and I have no one.

When it comes to having problems with friends it's like your lonely, like u can't turn to anyone. If I turn to vigilem she'll say stuff about efah and then more stuff will fall on me, she'll try and fix it but end up just making me want to be alone. If I go to arlea she'll try help by telling my 'it will be okay' ' I'm here for you' ' try think positively' what will be okay? This darkness which is threatening to consume the last sanity I have left. You'll always there for me? What about if I need more that just someone being there. What if your not there. Try think positively? Okay, I'll try. I'll try and think about all the positives.

But how? My friends bort me pain by falling apart, my family always pushing be aside making me feel unwanted bort me pain, school where I thought I could hide from it all bort me pain, relationships which ripped my heart in two bort me pain.

And yet no one sees it.

Not all pain leaves marks, not all pain causes you to bruise or bleed. The deepest paid which hurts the most is the one which no one sees. The pain that hides in the eyes of a broken solider, the pain that hides in the smile of a saddened girl, the pain that hides behind a plane of glass. If you look close enough you'll see it, if you don't it will go unnoticed and unhealed.

Sure we've had our good time. Made new friends, done loads together, stood by each other's sides. But what will that do for someone who is to far gone to even know which way the light leads.

As the dark clouds of the night sky cover the only light left of the moon, thos who were holding on learn it's time to let go. Time to say good by to all the pain of this world. For that the moon was the only light they thought was left.

Why do you think most people who kill themselves do it at night time? It's because the last light they tried to follow slowly fades away and with it so do they.

I made a promise to not take the easy way out. But everyone threatens to break promises.

I've seen to much in my life to know if there is a light in this world. I've seen betrayel, I've seen hate, I've seen cruelty, I've seen lies, I've seen death right before my eyes, I've seen the Bravest person I knew, let go. You may say 'we've all seen that. Just get over it' I would, if it hadn't become a regular thing. All these things seem to keep happening more and more. And to be honest I don't know how much more of it I can't take.

But one thing last thing I'll say before I finish.

I made a promise.

And I won't break it.

I promise grandma, I won't take the easy way out because you tried for so long to stay and fight in this world in till it got to much, and I'll do the same. I'll stay strong for you, and you alone.

But every light fades. Every friendship, every life has its eclipse.