If I Stole Your Heart

Chapter Seven: Thanks

Coming out didn't feel as freeing as everyone said, my shoulders sagged and my heart weighed me down as I stepped away from my parents. I couldn't look at them, not anymore. I could only faintly hear them, just one thing piercing through the silence.

"I don't know who he is anymore, Mark." It was quiet, coming from my mother. I had never heard her sound so sure of something before, so unwaveringly certain in what she was saying. I almost believed it myself, that in coming out and telling them about this secret part of me, I had become someone else. Someone awful. Almost.

The door knob was cool against my sweating hands, a welcome feeling as I pulled the door opened and stepped out into the warm night. I pulled my keys out from the pocket of my pants and unlocked the door to my car, getting in slowly and shutting it behind me. My eyes stayed glued to the gray steering wheel, the leather covering it fraying slightly. I needed to move, get the car started, drive back to Doverhall before people noticed I was gone. I set my hand against the wheel, using my free hand to turn the key in the ignition.

I pulled out of the drive, turning away from the house and watching it disappear slowly behind me through my side mirror. I was not going to cry, not now. Running a hand through my hair, I sighed, breath coming out in shaky bursts. I knew just what I needed.

***
It wasn't ideal that I would find myself at the dorm of one Jamie Hall, but in times of dire need we all had to make sacrifices. I rapped my knuckles against the dark wood and waited, my heart pumping fast in my chest.

The door opened with a creak, Jamie looking down at me from the other side.

"Come to apologize?" He asked, smirking slightly. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest.

"Not exactly." I said, my voice low and quiet.  "I know you have beer."

Jamie looked surprised, his smirk vanishing momentarily. The look was gone in an instant and he shut the door in my face. I looked at it, my mouth hanging open slightly. I turned, looking down at the dimly lit hallway, feeling a sense of defeat deep in my chest. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to come here in the first place. I might have felt fine right then, but adding alcohol to my already fragile mood-

His door swung back open and Jamie was there, holding two bottles of beer in his dark hands. I looked down at the beer, then back up at him. "Why two?" I asked, taking one of the beers from his hands and popping the tab open. I took a drink, feeling a sudden calm wash over me and a thrill. Beer and any alcoholic drink was obviously not allowed on the campus, but Jamie was sly and he could find away to bend and break the rules to his advantage. It had been one of the first things that had drawn me to him as a friend.

"Thought you might need the company." For the first time since our fight he seemed nervous, not the arrogant prick he'd been these past few days. I continued to stare at him in disbelief and he sighed, rolling his eyes. "Just accept my offer, Hanes."

I hesitated, wondering why Jamie would even want to be around me, let alone keep me company. "Okay."

"You know what?" Jamie stepped back into his room and came back with a big bottle of Smirnoff. He smiled at me, a look so genuine I was taken aback.

"Isn't that shit like really expensive?" I asked, eyeing the clear bottle with distrust.

"Relax, Greg, it was my dad's." That didn't help at all, but I dropped the conversation.

Jamie shut his dorm door and we walked together down the hallway, the bottle of Smirnoff and his beer now shoved down his green t shirt.

***

Most everyone was in the cafeteria, having dinner when Jamie and I made our way over to the benches set up away from all the buildings. We sat down, the view of the trees standing thick and tall reassuring me that no one could see us. I took a long drink of the can of beer in my hand and let my head roll back against the hard metal of the bench. Jamie sat down at my feet in the grass.