okay, so, sometimes (a lot of times), i feel like i'm making all of this 'depression' stuff up...
like i'm not even really like this.
like i'm just doing this for attention...
like, i've stood in front of the mirror and forced myself to cry (mostly because i never cry)
but, i've labeled myself an 'attention seeking cutter' and a 'slut' and 'just another depressed emo kid' and many other things
and, yes, i have had dreams about 5sos finding me on the verge of bleeding out and dying of suicide and then saving me
others, about my close friend finding me at my house and rushing me to the hospital
many, about a boy kissing all of my scars from cutting and telling me i'm beautiful
and i agree: 1) this is a very sick, twisted thing to do, 2) i shouldn't be romanticizing self harm or depression, and 3) i shouldn't be having fucking dreams about any of this
i know it would hurt many many people in my life if i killed myself
and i know you guys are probably either annoyed with me because of all my 'false alarm suicidal thoughts' or you're overly stressed...because of me...
i don't want anyone hurt because of me, ever, under any circumstances.
please, help me get out of this mindset i've created for myself.
(and please let me know if i'm completely insane for doing this to myself)
thanks, i love you guys...
stay;
YOU ARE READING
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Non-Fiction•and then you realize you've spent hours memorizing every little thing about a boy who will never know your name• This is basically my life journal. I'll talk about my life, mostly about how my days are going, school, and much of my depression and s...
