Niall's Biggest Secrets

Chapter Two

As the light shined into my room, I groaned and rolled over, wincing as I put presure on the cuts I made on my hips last night. I got up and threw on a hoodie and a pair of skinny-ish jeans. I opened my door, grabbing my guitar and private song book, and headed outside. It was chilly out but it didn't really bother me. I went around back and sat on the grass and opened my song book. I started playing a new song I recently wrote.

I take these pills, to make me thin,

I dye my hair, and cut my skin,

I try everything, to make them see,

but all they see, is someone that's not

me, even when I'm walking on a wire,

even when I set myself on fire, why do

I always feel invisible, invisible,

Everyday I try to look my best, even

though inside I'm such a mess, why

do I always feel invisible, invisible,

here inside, my quiet hell, you cannot

hear, my cries for help, I try

everything, to make them see me, but

every one, sees what I can't be,

Even when I'm walking on a wire,

even when I set myself on fire, why do

I always feel invisible, invisible,

Everyday I try to look my best, even

though inside in such a mess, why do

I always feel invisible, invisible,

sometimes when I'm alone, I pretend

that in a queen, it's almost believable,

even when I'm walking on a wire,

even when I set myself on fire, why do

I always feel invisible, invisible,

everyday I try to look my best, even

though inside I'm such a mess, why

do I always feel invisible, invisible

My voice cracked on the last word. That song shows how I truly feel, I put my guitar down and tried to even out my breathing.

After a few minutes of wavering decisions, I decided to head back inside as the wind picked up.

"Oh how I wish that was me," I sang softly, seeing Liam and his girlfriend kissing in the kitchen. If only Liam knew what he did to me, how he made me feel when he was with her, if only he knew how much I loved him. Maybe one day we cou-"Oi! would you two give it a rest?" Louis shouted coming into the kitchen, interupting my thoughts.

"Sorry guys." They said in unision, blushing.

"I'll see you out babe."

"Kay." she responded softly as she pulled him by the collar, getting closer to his mouth while walking out the door.

If only that was me, well it's not you, and it never will be said the voice in my head, the same voice that lead me to my depression, to the first time I purged, to the first time I- "Ni? are you alright mate?" Louis asked, again, interrupting my thoughts.

I nodded weakly and ran to my room, forgetting about lunch, and ran into my private bathroom. Hunching over the toilet, I stuck three fingers down my throat, and up comes the last meal I ate maybe if you were skinnier Liam would like you back. I repeated the action before I heard knocking on the door.

"Niall? are you alright mate?!" I started shaking, no one can know about this!

"Uh-yeah I-I'm fine."

"Open up then," I heard him say. I flushed the toilet and let the water run for a few seconds in the sink while putting a piece of gum in my mouth. I shut off the water and opened the door, I was quickly engulfed in a hug. I pushed him away, only to see that it was...

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Who is it? Leave your guess in the comments :)

sorry it took so long to upload <3