Breaking Them Up (BoyxBoy) (On Hold Forever)

Keeping Us Together :::2:::

*Damien’s POV*

　

Secrets sucked. Though we’d celebrated our anniversary yesterday, being around Kyle had felt stiff and awkward in a way I was unused to. Though we’d do what you’d expect any teenage couple to do well celebrating an anniversary, I felt dirt. Though I knew I could never tell him what I’d done…

Part of me wanted to.

Our relationship… well, I never expected a fairytale, but after all the craziness last year, I never thought me and Kyle would fall into the ‘secrets’ routine again… sure, we didn’t tell each other everything the way some couples did, but he could tell when I was upset and I could tell when he was angry or embarrassed, and on some level that was more fine tuned than intellectual…

We understood each other.

I shove my hands further into my jean pockets and try to clear my head. It was after school on a Monday and Kyle was going to walk home with me, I’d rather not think about how awful I felt in his presence, it’d make me squirm. And more important then my guilt was his-what was he hidding?

My head had been tilted to the ground, eyes down. I’d been in my own bubble, walking to Kyle’s locker without really thinking about it, but then I had to pull myself to a stop. Because someone was standing in the middle of the hall, blocking me. Someone with farmilliar shoe’s.

When I look up, I’m back at the party Kyle had been to busy to go to. I’m seeing Seth across the room, wondering why I came in the first place, considering I wasn’t friends with any of these people. Then I’m getting more and more unsteady on my feet. Then I’m back at his house. Then I’m…

A slut?

The thought came as something as a shock. I’d always hated cheaters, looked down on players. Sleeping around was stupid, if you were happy with your relationship why ruin it? Was that me now? Was I one of the selfish kids who destroyed every relationship they cherished?

“Damien” Seth’s voice saying my name snaps me out of it. It’s weird, thinking that I’d finally been with Seth the way I used to fantasise about and felt nothing short of disgusted with myself. Him saying my name didn’t feel incredible, it felt wrong.

“I can’t…” talk to him? Look at him? Be reminded of my mistakes? I’m not even sure which of those I intended to say, but those two words seem to sum it up anyways. I couldn’t. Not right now. It was still to fresh, to complicated, to swollen in my mind like an infection.

So instead of finishing my sentence, I leave it hanging and step around him.

But if theres one thing Seth can’t stand, that’d have to be being ignored. His meaty fist clamps around my wrist the moment I’ve past him and he swings me around to face him. He stares at me, the look a polar oppisite to the open one he’d shown at his house in his bedroom. “That’s not fair”

“Lifes not fair” I retaliate, and try to break free. He’s not having any of that though.

His fingers tighten “Damien, don’t be an idiot. We need to talk”

“What would you like to talk about?” I spit, temper rising. How could he stand there and talk to me about fair? Seth Green? Fair? Bullshit. He’d fed my feelings of love, never intending to return them or expose his own feelings about my sister. He’d decided he’d wanted me when I was finally happy with someone else.

He’d been so kind to me that I’d had no choice to trust him.

Then he’d betrayed my trust.

He knew nothing of fairness.

“Huh?” I put my face in his “Wanna talk about Darcy and how we’ve both betrayed her memory now?” pain flares across his face “OR do you want to talk about how you only like to try and fuck me when its convinent for you? Or better yet, let’s talk about my boyfriend. And how he’ll hate me if he ever finds out. And how I sort of hate myself”