Before I Began To Grow

Chapter Four

After about half an hour, Lestrade went to find Sherlock. He was sitting out on the front steps, a cigarette resting on his lips. Soft swirls of smoke escaped his mouth and his face was blank.

Lestrade sat himself down beside Sherlock and sighed. '' Could you spare a cigarette?''

Sherlock rooted around his coat pocket and eventually pulled one out. He lit it up and passed it to Lestrade.

''I thought you didn't smoke.''

''Desperate times...'' Lestrade murmured, before taking a drag.

Sherlock nodded, then exhaled.''Why're you here, Lestrade? Wanna talk about our feelings? Cuddle? Do each other's make up?'' Sherlock snorted, but then turned serious. ''That one time I...opened up...was a once off, Lestrade.''

''C'mon, Sherlock. Who else have you got to open up to?''

''No one,'' Sherlock grumbled. ''But, that's not a problem.''

Lestrade rolled his eyes. ''Bloody sociopath or not. Whatever you call yourself...You need to talk. I actually know about these things, Sherlock. I'm not all stupid.''

Sherlock sighed and turned his head to Lestrade.

''What do you expect me to say? That you were right? That I should've known better?...Well, that's true. I shouldn't have let him in again.''

''To your house, or to your life?'' Lestrade asked, wondering if he was pushing his boundaries with Sherlock.

Sherlock glowered at Lestrade. ''A bit of both, I suppose.'' He answered reluctantly.

''But, how do you feel ,Sherlock?''

''Angry.'' Sherlock answered immediately. ''I feel so, so angry  with him. And...just...''

''Heart broken?'' Lestrade asked in a small voice.

''Heart broken?'' Sherlock laughed bitterly. He raised his cigarette to his lips once more.

''That's a whole other story.''

Lestrade frowned at Sherlock. ''Do you still love him?''

Sherlock's eyes widened, and he stared at Lestrade in disbelief. How dare he ask such a question? The detective stood up and tossed his cigarette onto the ground. He put out its light with his shoe. Lestrade took his place beside Sherlock, mimicking his actions.

''Well, do you?''

Sherlock stared at Lestrade for quite some time, before turning his head away. ''So, what are we going to do about Sebastian?'' And, he started for the door and walked ahead, not waiting for Lestrade.

''Damn machine.'' Lestrade muttered under his breath, before following Sherlock up to his office, where John waited.

                                                                             *

John didn't acknowledge Sherlock when he walked back into Lestrade's office. Sherlock rolled his eyes and didn't allow himself to feel hurt by John's childishness. But, once Lestrade was back, John jumped up from his seat, ready for answers.

''Are you going to tell me what that text message meant?''

Sherlock stepped forward. ''It meant exactly what it said.''

John raised an eyebrow. ''So...Sebastian plans to torture and possibly murder me?'' His voice shook.

Sherlock nodded, and couldn't help but feel worried for John. ''Yes...that's what he intends on doing.''